Princess Suzanne

Resolutions

2005-12-30T23:30:00.000-05:00

I think I'm getting old. I can't believe that it is now almost December 31, 2005 (in about 30 minutes). It's like the past year has just flown, and what do I have to show for it? I feel like a lot has happened this year, but when I go to write about it, I can only name a few things. I bought a house. I got a dog. Umm...yeah...I'm drawing a blank besides that. I guess those are two big things, especially buying the house. But those all occurred in the last three months of the year. So what did I do for the first nine months of the year? I have no idea. I know that work has been keeping me busy. But I feel like I didn't do anything that would be any kind of accomplishment this year. I'm thinking that next year I want to get more accomplished. Of course, I'm not even sure what that means. I think I want to be at least one step closer to getting married (ahem...Engagement ring...ahem). I'm trying not to push the issue, but I feel like I'm getting old and I don't want to be older than 30 when I have my first child. So I need to get moving. I guess also I would like to get my clinical license. I'm not really behind on this. I have two years now of supervision so I am able now to get my license. Now if I could only get motivated to study for the licensing exam...I guess that would be another resolution. I want to get my butt in gear and exercise. I wouldn't really say that I'm overweight, but I definitely would say that I'm out of shape. So I need to get moving!

Anyways, I know there are about 79 other things I think I want to do in the new year, but right now, I'm going to live out the rest of December 30, 2005 by being a slug and reading a book. I'll get moving in a few days.

In case I don't post again before tomorrow night (which is highly likely)...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Fruity

2005-11-19T00:57:00.000-05:00

You Are a Mai Tai

You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive.
And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

Yes, I'm still alive

2005-11-18T23:20:00.000-05:00

Oh my gosh. It's been so long since I updated this blog, I'm sure there isn't anyone left reading it. How sad. Well, I guess I'll just write on it for my own gratification. We got our house. We're all moved in and unpacked. Well, mostly. There are a few random boxes that still have things in them that I don't know where they should go, or I don't have room for them. I also have three boxes of books that have yet to make it to the bookshelves. But I'm getting there. Otherwise, the house looks great.

And, we now have an addition to our little family! Yep, you guessed it! We adopted a dog! :) We adopted a German Shepherd from MAGSR, a rescue organization. Her name is Abbey and she is a year old. She's quite playful and energetic (much more energetic than me, I'm afraid). Here she is:

Isn't she so cute?!?!

Other tidbits of news...I turned a year older yesterday. Now I officially am in my late 20's. I feel old. My friends are having babies. It's crazy. My birthday was okay. I got some nice presents, was taken out to dinner, was made dinner. Some people remembered, most didn't. I guess that's sort of life in a nutshell, really. But now I'm being all depressed and a downer, so let me be peppy and cheerful again.

I'm beginning to feel all Christmas-y now. I don't know why. I think most people feel that way after Thanksgiving, but I begin to get that way after my birthday. I was updating my DJ and started going through the Christmas songs and singing them all to myself (and to Abbey, of course). It makes me feel all happy and stuff. I am trying to find a song but it looks like if I want it, I'll have to buy the CD online. It's a song called "Christmas Eve in Washington." It's one of my favorite Christmas songs. It makes Washington sound beautiful and it makes me remember why it is nice (occasionally) to live near the nation's capital. I want to get a tree, but if I did that now it would be dead before we even got to Christmas. I'm hoping to be able to get one the weekend after Thanksgiving, but that might even be a little too early. We'll have to see.

This year, for the first time ever, I'm spending Christmas away from home. I know, I'm too old to have never done that...it's time to cut the umbilical cord...whatever. I enjoy being able to spend some portion of Christmas day with my parents. I have never missed midnight Mass at my Church. So it is going to be a new experience for me. We're spending Christmas this year in Elgin. I'm okay with it, it's only fair. Robbie wants to spend Christmas with his family just like I want to spend it with mine. Last year we were here, so this year we'll go there. It will definitely be different. But, I'm sure it will be fine no matter where we are. Maybe we'll some how be able to convince my parents to come South with us as well.

Anyways, I guess that's all for now. If anyone is still periodically reading this blog, YAY. Let me know.

Movin' on up!

2005-10-12T22:33:00.000-04:00

You know, the title to the last post still makes me chuckle. Hehehe! It's okay, I know I'm a dork.

So, we are in the process of moving. Actually, we've sort of been in the process of moving for almost two weeks. But, we have some things moved, and some things bought. It's fun buying new things for a new house. Of course, it is also expensive buying said things. So I'm trying to keep the spending to a minimum. Anyway, I said I would post some pictures. Well, Robbie took something like 30 pictures, so I'll just post a few. It will give the general idea of what the house looks like.

OK, well, the uploader thing keeps giving me an error. So, you get to see what the living room looks like for right now. Hopefully I'll get to post some more pictures soon.

A house, a house, my kingdom for a house!

2005-09-29T20:39:00.000-04:00

Ah, I suppose King Richard III (and Shakespeare) would be appalled at my title. And, unfortunately, I have no kingdom. But, as of 12:30 this afternoon, I do have a house! Yay! I'm excited, although I've been so stressed about it, I just now feel like crawling in bed. So, I have a small little house. But it's cute and I have plans for it, so I'm excited about it. Robbie's gonna work on it some, like cleaning the carpet and maybe painting. This weekend while he's at work, I'm going to work on moving so little things over there. But, I still have a month here in the apartment so we have time to move. Anyways, I'm tired so I'm not going to write anymore right now. But, I am excited so I wanted to write something!

Pictures coming soon!

Hmm...I just realized I used the word "excited" kind of excessively in this post. Just ignore it...or you can laugh...'cause I'm excited :-D

Good morning! Let the stress begin!

2005-09-21T20:56:00.000-04:00

Read the title of this post. I have a sign in my office that says that. And, I think that I have felt that way every day for the past five weeks.

I haven't posted in forever and a day. I haven't had time for anything except work. Work is seriously kicking my ass. I've thought about quitting more than once in the past four weeks. I've also burst into tears twice at work in the past week. I try to actually plan out the last two weeks of the month and nothing goes the way its supposed to. I have two reports due by Friday, one which hasn't been reviewed by my supervisor, and one that I haven't even written. I can't keep up with everything that is being demanded of me. Plus, we are at the very end of the process for buying our house. I found a house that I really like, we've done everything for it. But finalizing everything and going to settlement next week is stressing me out as much as work is. I bought a journal and promised myself that I would journal almost daily so I could vent and not stay stressed about things. But I don't feel like I have time to sleep, let alone do anything else. And, now Robbie is getting switched to a shift where he will always work in the evenings or nights. Another stressor.

I need a break. Once we go to settlement next week, I think that will lift some of my stress. I'm also hoping to go to South Carolina for a few days at the beginning of October. My main problem is that I find it difficult to just turn off work when I leave and stop worrying about the kids or their situations or whatever. I'm still trying to learn how to do that.

I thought maybe writing about it would help, but it's really not. So, I'll stop. But, I must say HOW 'BOUT THOSE REDSKINS?????

Books

2005-08-20T22:38:00.000-04:00

It seems like when I haven't been working lately, I've been reading. I think I already posted that I read the sixth Harry Potter book. Since then, I think I have read a few other books. I've now read all of the Patricia Cornwell Kay Scarpetta books except for the last one, Trace. The one before that, Blow Fly, I wasn't really all that impressed with. It was written differently, in the third person, as opposed to in the first person, which made the book not quite as good as the previous ones. Still, I want to read the most recent one. And then I believe that there is a new one coming out soon, so I'll have to read that one as well.

After that, I read The Kite Runner, which I thought was very good. It was an interesting view of life in Afghanistan, before the Soviet invasion, following it, and under the leadership of the Taliban. It was a fictional story, but I'm sure there was a lot of reality in the descriptions of the country. It was a great story and I believe it was the author's first novel.

Once I finished that, Robbie said I had to read Under and Alone. Surprisingly, this, too, was a fast and interesting read. The book is about an undercover ATF agent in an outlaw motorcycle gang. Quite fascinating - similar to Donnie Brasco but more quick-paced.

Now, I'm re-reading the Harry Potter books. I've finished the first two, and I'm on the third one. Those are interesting because I read them several years ago, and have now seen the movies multiple times. There is so much in the books that is not in the movies and I'm enjoying reading them again. Once I get to the fourth one, I'll probably remember even less about it, since the movie has yet to come out. At any rate, these books are an easy read and always fun.

So as you can see, I have read a lot of books in the past month. Which probably means I have no life and I need to get out more. Maybe. I'll work on going out more and getting more exercise. Now, if you'll excuse me...I need to go read my book :)

Nananananana!!!!!

2005-07-28T22:01:00.000-04:00

I'm going to California tomorrow! YAY!!!!

(Scary) Pictures

2005-07-28T21:59:00.000-04:00

Me and Robbie at Elena's wedding (teehee!)

Another ride on the green line

2005-07-27T13:21:00.000-04:00

Here are more of the people that I encounter when I ride the Metro to and from work.

1. The people who refuse to move their bags so that you can sit down, no matter that there are wall to wall people on the train and it would be nice for at least one more person to sit down.

2. Recently, it appears that everyone on the train is reading the sixth Harry Potter book. Everyone is so engrossed that they realize at the last possible second that they are at their stop and they jump up, grab their things, and run off the train before the doors close.

3. Since it is summertime, there are a whole lot of tourists on the train. Most of them look like they have been wrestling with cheetahs all day, all disheveled, sweating profusely, and just plain worn-out looking.

4. Everyone on the train now has an IPod.

5. There are many women on the train who ought not be wearing what they are wearing. Sometimes there is such a thing as showing too much skin.

My power color

2005-07-21T14:34:00.000-04:00

What do y'all think? Does this accurately describe me?

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest:

You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you.

At Your Lowest:

You require a lot of attention and praise.

In Love:

You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.

How You're Attractive:

You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.

Your Eternal Question:

"Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

Wal-Mart, Part two

2005-07-21T14:27:00.000-04:00

It's kind of funny. I was looking at some of my past posts on this blog. One of them was saying how nice and stable all of my cases were and how pleasant that was. Yeah, now I have cases just flying off everywhere, nothing seems to be right. I have people calling me four times a day about some of my cases, yelling at me, complaining at me about things that I have no control over. It's just a mess. So much for the nice calm...I guess it was more the calm before the storm.

However, I was not intending to complain about work on here. Instead, I was going to discuss the merits of Wal-Mart. On a previous post, I discussed reasons that I dislike Wal-Mart. Those reasons still hold true. There are scary people at Wal-Mart. They come in all sorts of clothing - pajamas, curlers, spandex (those are mostly the people who ought to stay away from any kind of stretchy clothing). Some of them are so ghetto. Then we have the store itself. There are usually items strewn all over the place. Items aren't in the right place (thongs in the section with printers, and such). The most astonishing thing is, for all that is wrong with Wal-Mart, the lines are always so long that you have to wait twenty minutes to pay for all of the stuff that you didn't need anyways.

But, I am ashamed to say, lately I have gone to Wal-Mart on a couple of different occasions. Robbie said he needed to buy flip-flops and the first words out of my mouth were "Oh, we can get some cheap ones at Wal-Mart." AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? And a few weeks ago, Robbie's sister was wearing this cute bathing suit and she said she got it at Wal-Mart. So what did I do?? I went to Wal-Mart to look at their bathing suits (no matter that I already had six). And I even bought one! It's like a disease or something! Maybe it's just called being poor, but I just don't know. I mean, things are generally cheaper at Wal-Mart. And, some people don't have such a negative view of the store, since there are always four million people crammed into the store at any given time. I just didn't think that I would be one of those people.

Yay for Harry!

2005-07-19T13:46:00.000-04:00

Since Saturday, this is what I have been doing to occupy much of my time:

I am quite enjoying this book. However, when I finish it, I'll have to wait like two years before the next one comes out. How sad.

What do social workers make?

2005-07-15T11:22:00.000-04:00

I got this from someone at work, and I thought it was awesome. It's one of those good pick-me-ups that all of us sometimes need.

What do social workers make?

They make an infertile couple celebrate a lifetime of Mother's Days and Father's Days by helping them adopt a crack baby no one else wanted.
They make a child fall asleep every night without fears of his father's fists.
They make a homeless veteran feel at home in the world.
They make a teenager decide to stop cutting herself.
They make a beaten woman find the courage to leave her abuser for good.
They make a boy with Down Syndrome feel like the smartest kid in the bus.

What do they make?

They make a 10-year-old believe that he is loved and wanted, regardless of how long he lasts in the next foster home.
They make a teen father count to 10 and leave the room so he won't shake his newborn son.
They make a man with schizophrenia see past his demons.
They make a rape victim talk about it for the first time in years.
They make an ex-convict put down the bottle and hold down a job.

What do they make?

They make a couple communicate so well they decide not to get divorced.
They make a dying cancer patient make peace with her past, with her brief future, with her God.
They make the old man whose wife has Alzheimer's cherish the good times, when she still remembered him.
They make forgotten people feel cherished, ugly people feel beautiful, confused people feel understood, broken people feel whole.

What do they make?
They make more than most people will ever make.
They make a difference.

TGIF

2005-07-15T10:31:00.000-04:00

I think everyone loves Fridays. Well, I guess everyone that will have the next two days off. Robbie, for example, has been off all week, but now has to work Friday through Monday. Okay, so ALMOST everyone loves Fridays. This week, it has felt like every day should have been the end of the week. I felt like I couldn't get motivated, and I think I got to work late every single day this week. I just could not wake up and get moving. And then work was kind of a drag. I had reports to write that I couldn't get motivated to do. I've been trying to schedule for two of my kids to come back from residential. My boss's boss's boss sent me an email yesterday saying that I was going to have disciplinary action taken for something that I didn't do. It's just been a rough-ass week. This would probably accurately depict how I feel right about now:

I don't have anything wild and exciting planned for this weekend. I'm actually working on Saturday morning. But just knowing that I can relax, sleep in, and have basically no obligations makes me feel lighter. I guess I just need to make it through the rest of today.

No longer comfy and cozy

2005-07-07T14:14:00.000-04:00

I think it's really sad what happened in London today. It's also a wake up call that I probably didn't need. It's scary to think how easy we slip back into feeling all warm and safe when a terrorrist attack could be looming in the near future. The Metro has all of these warnings up about looking for suspicious packages and reporting them to the authorities. But I don't know that I would necessarily notice a suspicious package unless it jumped up and bit me in the butt (and had a big sign pasted on it that said "Hey, I'm a suspicious package!). Now we have bomb-sniffing dogs and guys with assualt rifles hanging out at the Metro stations, and I just don't know if that makes me feel much safer. In reality though, I don't know what would make me feel safer. Alot of the terrorrists are not against suicide bombings. So, I can't really expect to find a suspicious package just lying around. It could be the briefcase that guy in the seat next to is holding on his lap. Or it could be the backpack that the guy is wearing who is standing next to the door. Nobody checked my bag for a bomb when I entered the Metro station this morning.

I guess on the flip side, I don't want to live my life in fear of what might happen. Maybe this means I'm not cautious enough, or that I am looking through at the world through rose-colored glasses. But, it just seems clear that if something is going to happen, there is little that we can do to stop it from happening. The bombings are sad. They are scary. But I don't want to stop living my life because DC might be next.

Just some rambling thoughts.

Do you ever just feel this way?

2005-07-07T12:56:00.000-04:00

I don't know if this is good or not...

2005-07-05T13:27:00.000-04:00

Your IQ Is 125

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Yoda!!!

2005-06-30T13:13:00.000-04:00

How cool is this picture??? It makes me want to post in green!!!

What flavor ice cream are you?

2005-06-30T13:06:00.000-04:00

Yes I DO have too much time on my hands today...

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

The World's Shortest Personality Test

2005-06-30T12:59:00.000-04:00

You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.

You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

SPF what?

2005-06-30T12:51:00.000-04:00

My plan for this weekend is to get some sun. That's all I want. Well, sun and relaxation. Last weekend I went to the pool for about three hours. The purpose was not to swim, not to get exercise. All I wanted was some sun. I put on SPF 30 because I always get concerned that if I put on something low, like 6, I'll just fry. With my SPF 30, I got some vague tan lines, except in the areas that I apparently missed. Those areas got nice and burned. Not horribly, but enough. Now that the burn is gone, those areas are a nice tan color, tanner than most of the rest of me. So, this weekend, when we go out on the lake, I think I'm going to opt for something with a low SPF, like 6. I'm either gonna get burned to a crisp, or, just possibly, I'll come back from South Carolina with a decent tan. It is probable that the former option is what will occur, but I'll stay optimistic.

So, I'm starting my holiday weekend early. We are driving South this afternoon/evening and I'll be off until Tuesday. I want to accomplish the following during my long weekend:

1. Get a tan
2. Go out on the boat
3. Go out on the Seadoos
4. Consume one or two alcoholic beverages
5. Not think about work at all
6. Spend some quality time with my boyfriend (this one should be appended with spend some time with my boyfriend, and his parents and his sister and his aunts and his uncles and his cousins and his mom's friends...)
7. See some nice fireworks
8. Not get bitten by too many mosquitoes

Most of these are pretty easy to accomplish...we'll see what actually occurs this weekend.

I don't have any exciting news like Melissa...sorry.

Hot weather and Yoda

2005-06-08T13:49:00.000-04:00

My mom is downtown this afternoon so we thought we would have lunch together. That means that we both walk about 3 blocks (I think it's a little less from her building) and go to McDonald's. Well, when we got in McDonald's, the fire alarm started going off and an automated voice prompted everyone to leave the building. That message excluded mostly everyone in McDonald's apparently, and since we didn't see anyone on fire, we stayed in line to get some food. But then my mom was nervous about staying in the restaurant for lunch. So we took our food (my quarter pounder and fries and her bag of apples) and stood outside. To eat lunch. In the 90 degree heat. (But we were in the shade, so that made it all better.) It was hot. And I'm not in hot weather apparel because I have to go to Court so I was trying to look at least somewhat presentable. It was hot. Plus I got blisters on my feet from wearing a new pair of shoes. And...did I mention it was hot? So, so far it's been kind of a not so great day.

So, what could be better on this fine (read this as HOT) day but to make a list of the best Yoda quotes (or at least the ones that I know or the ones that I can find). Feel free to add some to the list.

1. Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
2. Much to learn you still have.
3. When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
4. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
5. Size matters not. Judge me by my size do you?
6. [Luke] I can't believe it. [Yoda] That is why you fail.
7. Wars not make one great.
8. Already know you that which you need.
9. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will.
10. Help you I can, yes.
11. May the force be with you.

OK, so I was aiming for 10. I'll give you that extra one for free.

My Top 100

2005-06-03T18:49:00.000-04:00

I've seen on other blogs where the writers have written the top 100 things about themselves. I'm intrigued by this idea and wonder if I would be able to come up with 100 things about myself that others may or may not know (or even care to know for that matter). So, I think I'll try to undertake this task. Maybe someone will learn something new about me. Or not.

1. I was named Suzanne, but not for any particular reason, other than the fact that my mom said she liked that name.
2. I was originally going to be Victoria (better).
3. Or Nicholas (not better).
4. Despite being corrected many many times, there are people who insist on calling me Susan.
5. I have lived in the city that I currently live in for my entire life.
6. I have a master's degree in social work.
7. I have thought about going back to school to get a law degree or a Ph.D. in social work or clinical psychology.
8. I was going to be a doctor until I took biology in college.
9. I enjoy going to school.
10. I'm divorced.
11. I saw Titanic in the movie theater more times than I care to mention.
12. My favorite pastimes are reading and sleeping.
13. I love Double Stuf Oreos.
14. I love Yoda.
15. I belong to a book club.
16. And am, by far, the youngest member.
17. I've drunk so much alcohol that I got very sick.
18. I can no longer stand the smell of Aftershock.
19. I'm scared of spiders and bees.
20. I'm not perfect.
21. I'm very liberal.
22. I'm an underwear junkie.
23. I'm not tall.
24. I am bad at keeping in touch with friends.
25. I'm a big fan of country music.
26. I have one sister.
27. I want a dog.
28. I want to get married again and have children.
29. I think that there is too little love and compassion in this world.
30. I would like to live in another state, preferably in the south or the west.
31. I'm also scared of big, scary dogs with large, sharp teeth.
32. Of recent, I have become a big fan of the Star Wars movies.
33. I crochet.
34. I've been crocheting a blanket for five months.
35. And I'm only half done.
36. I had a Nintendo when I was younger.
37. I also had an Atari.
38. I don't really like playing video games now.
39. I've been to Europe twice and Canada once.
40. I got braces when I was in 8th grade.
41. I got one of my male friends to put on one of my bathing suits (and he was not intoxicated).
42. I'm insecure.
43. I don't like guns, but I have shot one before.
44. I don't like cleaning.
45. Or doing laundry.
46. I love musicals.
47. I love to sing along with the radio or musical movies.
48. I love Disney movies.
49. I'm not very good at sports.
50. I like to watch football, both on tv and in person.
51. I have eyes that are not quite brown, green, or hazel.
52. I have crazy curly hair that often has a mind of it's own.
53. I don't like people who take themselves too seriously.
54. I have funny feet with long skinny toes.
55. I love monkeys.
56. Most of the clothes in my closet are pink, purple, or blue.
57. I think that a sense of humor is very important.
58. I sometimes have a hard time forgiving people, and often hold grudges.
59. I can't always admit when I'm wrong.
60. I like art, especially impressionism and realism.
61. I insist on having my toenails painted, but seldom paint my fingernails.
62. My favorite movie is An Affair to Remember.
63. The Notebook runs a close second.
64. My least favorite movie is Training Day.
65. I would like a convertible BMW before I'm 40.
66. I'm sure I'll change my mind about what kind of car I want.
67. I'm not very photogenic.
68. I like attending formal events.
69. I have a habit of announcing to whomever I'm with that I need to use the bathroom.
70. I have a great deal of respect for members of the military and law enforcement.
71. I have instant messenger running constantly during the day, whether I'm at work or at home.
72. I am very anal about correct grammar and spelling.
73. I have my belly button pierced.
74. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.
75. I walk around my house naked.
76. I enjoy reading about and watching programs on health and history.
77. I currently have almost 1,300 songs on my Dell DJ.
78. I like the smell of gasoline.
79. And spray paint.
80. I have never tried marijuana or any other illegal substances.
81. I cry during 95% of all movies that I watch.
82. I like reading mystery novels.
83. I refuse to read Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta books out of order.
84. I like to use colorful office supplies, such as pens, paperclips, and post-it notes.
85. I don't like the consistency of bananas.
86. Apples make my mouth itch.
87. The first movie that I recall seeing in the movie theater is E.T.
88. The first things I notice about a guy are his smile and his butt.
89. I don't like ice cream.
90. I read the washingtonpost.com religiously.
91. I don't like coffee.
92. I don't like people who don't think for themselves.
93. I have trouble leaving my work at work.
94. One of my most frequent activities is being stressed out.
95. I love Christmas and everything that goes with it (songs, decorating, etc.).
96. I don't go to church as often as I should.
97. I have a painting on my wall that a schizophrenic client painted.
98. My biggest celebrity crushes are Kenny Chesney and Johnny Depp.
99. I like thunderstorms.
100. I hate having to change my password on my work computer and email account.

Work and stress (synonymous?)

2005-05-20T22:30:00.000-04:00

Again, I find that work is kicking my butt. One of my trouble teens ran away on Monday, and in the midst of that, the mother's attorney wants to have an emergency hearing. The motion requesting a hearing basically bashes me, as the social worker, and the work that I have done, or as she would probably put it, lack thereof. It makes me sound like I don't do anything for this family, and perhaps go get pedicures during lunchtime. To clear this up, I wrote up an interim report for the Court, disputing most of her claims, but none of the ones about me. I cleared up misconceptions about the youth going to school, getting therapeutic services, and the things that I am working on, such as meetings, placements, and appointments. I don't directly dispute the attorney's claim that "Ms. [social worker] told the mother, 'She is in your care, so now it's your problem.'" Wouldn't that have been a great statement for me to have made? Ah, if it were only true. (And for the record, I have never gotten a pedicure during lunchtime, either, just in case it comes up at the emergency hearing.)

So, today, amidst the stress, drama, lies, and late nights at work this week, I took a mental health day. I figured the world won't stop if I don't go to work today, and everyone will survive without hearing my melodic voice and seeing my shining face today. I didn't even check my voicemail, which I often do even when I'm sick. If anything blew up, someone else could handle it today, or it could just wait until Monday. So, in honor of my attempt to destress, I thought I would make a list of things I did today that were NOT stressful.

1. I slept late. Actually, I slept ridiculously late, until like 11 something.
2. I read a book. I finished one, The Notebook, and started another, Unnatural Exposure. Neither of these are books that require much thought.
3. I fell asleep on the couch. Now, I know you must be thinking, she slept until 11. How could she possibly fall asleep again?? All I can say in explanation is, it's in my genes. Moien girls have that amazing capability.
4. I took a nice long hot shower.
5. I ate Double Stuf Oreos.
6. I watched Under the Tuscan Sun.
7. I downloaded a few songs onto my mp3 player (shh, don't tell anyone!).
8. I listened to the rain.
9. I lit smelly candles all over the apartment.
10. I sang along with the radio.

I know, it sounds really boring. But, it was relaxing, and I needed it. Maybe, after today and this weekend, I will be prepared for the three Court hearings I have next week, the two reports that have to get written, and dealing with crazy teenagers. Just maybe.

For sale by owner

2005-05-16T13:54:00.000-04:00

It's crazy how stressful house buying can be. And I'm not even seriously looking yet. We met with a loan officer yesterday who threw out all of these really high expenses associated with buying a house - insane down payments, insane closing costs, etc. So then we went and looked a a really really nice house in old Greenbelt. Houses in old Greenbelt aren't all that big, but this one had an addition and a beautiful yard. It was really nice, and just slightly out of our price range. If we stopped eating, we could probably swing it. When I bought my house five years ago, it was amazing how cheap it was. That same house has appreciated in value for three times what we paid for it. If I could only get James to sell it and get the profits from it, it would be great!

But, back to buying a house...I just don't know how real people afford houses these days. A house that would have gone for about $90K five years ago is now selling for $250K, which means that those that were selling for $250K are up to like $450K! And as a social worker, I just can't afford to live in something much more than $250K (truth be told, I don't know if I can afford to live in something that is $250K). So, in spite of telling myself not to stress and not to worry yet about finding a house, because we have time, I'm getting stressed that I'm never going to find anywhere to live! We keep saying we don't want a condo because we want a yard so we can get a dog, but I may need to reevaluate that and may have to get a condo for a little while. Even those are going for crazy prices!

Anyway, maybe I'll get off the house issue for a little while and try to think about something good...hmm... I watched The Notebook on Friday. Can I just say that I fell in love with that movie! My mom didn't really like it so much. But I just loved it. It sort of felt like my life (although I'm not at the Alzheimer's stage yet, thank goodness!). But, I did really like it.

I really want Memorial Day weekend to get here. For one, with it comes a day off. Two, the pool will open and if I can stand it, I'm going to go and lay in the sun while lots of little hoodlums-in-training try to drown each other in the pool. I really need a tan, plus I have a new bathing suit that is waiting to be worn :)

How old do I act?

2005-05-06T13:11:00.000-04:00

You Are 30 Years Old

30

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

How many blogs does someone need??

2005-05-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

Eddy told me that I needed to make a blog on Xanga, so I did. It's more fun - it's got smileys, I was able to customize all of the colors and fonts and stuff. So I can't decide where to blog from now on. Look at the new one...any suggestions?

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

2005-04-30T20:07:00.000-04:00

Well, friends, it finally happened. On Thursday, a Judge issued an Order that ended my marriage. This isn't really a happy post, though I know some people who were quite happy when their divorces finally came through. I guess it's more of a reflective post. It's also one of the more serious posts on this blog. So, if you don't like reflective, or you don't like serious, you might want to skip it.

Life is interesting. It's like one of those "choose your own adventure" stories or the Frost poem The Road Not Taken (take your pick). I know growing up, you always want to be something different every week. One week you say you are going to be a teacher, the next week a doctor. It's easy to change your mind because when your ten, it doesn't really matter. However, when you are a grown up, the choices you make in life are a lot more meaningful. When I was 21, I knew it all. I knew how to be a good friend, a good companion, and a good wife. At 24, I was no longer sure I knew how to be any of those things. I had grown up and matured, at least some, and I learned how much I had to learn about life. Marriage doesn't work just because your parents are happily married. Marriage doesn't work just because you are in love. Marriage takes a lot of work from both people in order to actually make it work. You are both going to screw up. Alot. You are both going to get mad, you are going to stress, you are going to argue. My marriage had all of those components. We got mad, we stressed, we argued, and most of all, we screwed up. The part that made it not work was that we didn't communicate. We didn't talk about the stress. We didn't talk about the screw ups. We went on, like everything was perfect, when things were really coming apart at the seams. I don't think either of us are to blame exclusively. I think that we both contributed to the demise of the relationship.

After two years, looking back, I feel like I can more clearly see what went wrong. We didn't have the perfect marriage, but who does? It takes work and it takes mistakes. My parents didn't have a perfect marriage at the beginning. There are bumps along the way and you have to work together to get over the bumps. It makes you a stronger team. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I feel like I've learned something. I hope that I am stronger and better equipped in the event that I get married again.

James and I are both doing so well now, in our separate lives. To use a worn out cliche, we took the lemons that life threw us and we made lemonade. I think we have both grown up alot and have both learned from our mistakes. There are hard days and there are easier days, but experience has made us wiser. I know that the future will be bright for him, and I hope it will be for me, regardless of the fact that the future for us is no longer a shared future. What we do have that we share are the memories that we created together, and those will last a lifetime, even if we didn't.

Performing without a net

2005-04-17T20:04:00.000-04:00

We thought we would go for a nice hike this weekend, so we went to the Maryland side of Great Falls. Someone at REI said that we should hike the Billy Goat Trail up there. When we got there, we saw that there were three Billy Goat Trails, so we did the one that was closest to us, Billy Goat Trail A. It said it was difficult, but we figured it just meant that it was a little rocky, maybe some tree roots, possibly a change in elevation. Yeah, this is what part of the trail looked like:

And this is what I looked like on that trail:

Crazy, huh??? Needless to say, it was a little more difficult than we had imagined. But, we did it, all 1.7 miles of it (we actually walked about 4 miles total, but I think the totally ridiculous part was 1.7 miles). Today, I can barely walk up and down steps. Robbie says we had fun and it was a good accomplishment, and we plan to go back. I guess we'll just have to see about that.

Pretty in pink

2005-04-09T23:41:00.000-04:00

Robbie and I went down to DC today to see the Cherry Blossoms. It was just us...and about a million other people. It was crazy the number of people that were down there. But, it was a beautiful day along the Potomac and the trees were really pretty.

Cherry Blossoms

The Potomac River

Cherry Blossoms against a backdrop of the Potomac

The Jefferson Memorial surrounded by Cherry Blossoms (and people!)

Give ME a break

2005-04-09T22:49:00.000-04:00

I think it is really amusing how people get completely bent out of shape regarding what people write on their blogs. Since a blog is just somewhere for someone to vent about what's going on in their lives, be it personal, work, or whatever, it would seem to me that the reader would understand that the writing is just that - venting. It should never be taken too seriously. Obviously, some readers get quite upset about things that I write (and I would have thought that reader would have been a cool person considering it is one of my friend's other friends). But, if you don't like what I have to say, click the X in the top right hand corner and close the window. It's that simple.

That will cost you...

2005-04-06T16:01:00.000-04:00

I was in Court this morning with a new judge (new to me). The child's attorney, which is known as the Guardian ad litem (GAL), was more than 30 minutes late. This, in turn, made the caregiver's attorney late for another hearing. This also made my attorney, the Assistant Attorney General (cool title, eh?) late for another hearing. The GAL was concerned that our judge was going to fine her for being late. She has fined my agency for court reports being turned in late. The caregiver's attorney was concerned that the judge that he was late for was going to fine him for being late. What kind of craziness is that? "You got stuck in traffic so I'm going to fine you a hundred dollars." WTF?? Maybe that's better than being held in contempt of court? I don't know. These judges, that are actually Magistrate Judges, are all on power trips. There's one judge that most social workers and attorneys despise. My supervisor remembers when that judge was not a judge, but just a lowly attorney, more specifically an educational advocate. And, he was bad at that job! So, now that he is a Magistrate Judge, is he trying to make up for his poor attorney skills by being anal and micromanaging every case that comes before him? I just don't know. I think there is a prerequisite when you apply for the Judge job that you must forget your roots and be condescending to all social workers and most attorneys. Where do I sign up?

Is it hot enough for you?

2005-04-06T15:50:00.000-04:00

It's been cold in DC. It's been in the 40s and 50s. That's not warm weather. It's not good for Cherry Blossoms. It's not good for skin. It's not good for sunbathing. BUT...Yesterday it was like 70-something degrees out! Today, it is currently 84 degrees out! This is top-down weather! This is good weather for the Cherry Blossoms to finally burst forth from their buds! It's even sunbathing weather! I'm ecstatic, as most Washingtonians should be! So, I go to a meeting, with people who apparently have recently come inside from the gorgeous weather. The first thing they all say is "It's hot outside!" OMG, gimme a break! This is the kind of weather we all want! In the middle of cold yucky winter, we all wish for warm weather. When we have a break from the icky weather and have an 84 degree day, it's TOO HOT. Next time it gets cold, which it undoubtedly will get cold again before it stays warm, nay hot, I'm going to remind people how it was TOO HOT when it got warm outside. Maybe we should all wish for warm weather, not to exceed 78 degrees.

Blasphemy?

2005-04-05T15:47:00.000-04:00

The world is following the viewing and funeral of Pope John Paul II, as perhaps we should. But, would you like to put a wager on who the next Pope will be, or what his name will be?? According to this article in the Washington Post:

[I]n addition to wagering on the meaning of Britney Spears's bump, or the color of the bonus ball in the Irish National Lottery, gamblers around the world can log onto paddypower.com, click on the Novelties section and put their money on Dionigi Tettamanzi, who is rating 11 to 4 odds in the race for the papacy. Or they can take their chances on Father Dougal Maguire of Craggy Island, Ireland, a long shot at 1,000 to 1.

That just doesn't seem kosher to me.

New toy

2005-03-16T12:12:00.000-05:00

I got a new toy a little while ago. Now, everyone can collectively get their minds out of the gutter, cause I know how y'all think!!! Not THAT kind of toy! I got a Dell Digital Jukebox. It's an IPod, but made by Dell. I'm quite enjoying it. I have put a lot of songs on it (it currently appears to have 916 songs on it) and often listen to it at work or on the Metro going to and from work. It's kind of amusing though, the mix of stuff that is on it. A while ago I listened to George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" (courtesy of my brother-in-law's mp3 player). A litte later I heard "The Music of the Night" from Phantom of the Opera. Somewhere in there was "Little Drummer Boy." (Although, I usually skip the Christmas songs.) Interesting mix, eh? It's kinda cool though, because you can put soooo many songs on here, it's hard to get bored with it. If I feel like listening to something country, it's there. Britney Spears (gasp!), I got a few. Guns n' Roses, yep. I have some crazy 80's music and some pretty new stuff as well.

I have to go to Florida tomorrow for work. It would be fun, except that I'll be in the state of Florida for less than 24 hours. I will arrive there around 1:30 p.m. tomorrow, and I leave there at 10:15 on Friday morning. I get to be spoiled by 78 degree weather for about 8 hours, then I have to come back here to 45 degrees. It's not fair! It's actually kind of silly too. The DC Government flies me down there so that I can spend a total of like 3 hours talking to a youth and her treatment team. It will take me longer to fly down and back than the time that I will actually spend with the individual. But I get to feel all important and special that I get to go out of town on business (I can pretend, can't I?).

OK, I was going to write more, but I've actually gotten a little bit busy. So, I guess I'll go work. TTFN!

Riot time

2005-03-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

When I was little and I went with my sister to Maryland football and basketball games, they used to give out pins that said things like "Destroy the Deacons" and "Declaw the Paws." Well, the object of the first game of the ACC Tournament was to "Declaw the Paws." Clemson had beat Maryland twice in regular season games. But it was pretty much imperative that Maryland win today against Clemson. Without this win, it would be pretty much impossible to get into the NCAA Tournament. So, I thought that Maryland would come out swinging. Yeah. Somewhere during this two and a half hour game, they forgot how to swing. Maryland decided to show up at the beginning of the game, sink some shots, give us all a false sense of hope. Then, in the second half, they forgot to show up. This is the same Maryland team that beat Duke twice this season. But they can't be bothered to win the game that would ultimately decide whether they will even make it to the NCAA Tourney this year. Clemson beat the Terps 84-72.

I'm not sure how the students at UMCP are going to take this final loss. We know how they deal with wins - they riot. It would seem to make sense that if they lose, they would also feel the need to riot. Now, I haven't heard anything yet about riots on the Metro after the game (although given the nature of the people who ride Metro, it wouldn't surprise me if some scuffles broke out), and it is too early in the day for the students to go down to the Route and start burning and breaking things. But, it will be interesting to see if the students can suck up this loss, or if the local news tonight will show burning trash cans and students being shot with pepper balls. Yeah, sounds like good times to me.

As for the NCAA Tournament, I guess there's always next year.

Green line

2005-03-09T14:13:00.000-05:00

I don't know what others' experiences are on the Metro, but I encounter a lot of interesting people during my daily rides. I ride the Green line, and it appears that every young hoodlum-in-training rides the same train. The most annoying people on the trains are as follows:

All these teenagers saying the most vulgar and vile things to one another...and it isn't like everyone else in the train car can't hear their conversations.
The people who talk on their cell phones - nevermind the fact that in the tunnels you can barely get a signal, if at all, and thus said people end up screaming into their telephones. Again, this means that everyone on the train can hear their conversations. It's like a freaking Verizon commercial...Can you hear me now? Hello?? Can you hear me?? Are you still there??? HELLO????
The people who stare at you. Now, I understand that there are only so many things that one can look at during a 30 minute train ride. You are bound to look at the same person more than once. But some people just flat out stare at you. Good gracious, take a picture, it will last longer!
The people who sit next to you and lean over to see what you are reading. Um, yeah, maybe I should just GIVE YOU MY BOOK so you don't strain your neck trying to read the next paragraph. I'm sorry, were you finished with that page?
The people who get on the train and begin preaching the Word of God. I don't think I need to elaborate on this. For a really funny description of this on a New York train, see New York Intern's blog.
The people who don't realize that when wearing headphones, one is not supposed to sing out loud so that other's can hear you! And, the people that do this aren't rock stars, will never be rock stars, are never going to be given recording contracts. They are more like the ones that are booed off the stage at the Apollo.
The people who don't realize that when wearing headphones, the whole train is not supposed to hear what is going through said headphones.
The people who incessantly scream at their children throughout the entire ride. Sit down! Didn't I tell you to sit down! Sit your ass down now! (Remember, I ride the ghetto train.) IF YOU GET UP ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO SMACK YOU! *SMACK* Then, when they get to their stops, they grab the child's arm and drag the child off the train. It always looks like the child's arm is gonna be dislocated or something. Yeah, how do you spell child abuse?
The people who let their children run like wild animals through the train. If I wanted to see animals, I would have taken the Red line to the zoo.

I'm sure there are other obnoxious and annoying people that I am leaving out, so this is by no means an exhaustive list. I guess these are the ones that I encounter most regularly. Happy Metroing!

You do your job, I'll do mine!

2005-03-07T11:54:00.000-05:00

I sometimes get so frustrated at work. First off, I don't have much to do. All of my cases (thank goodness) are pretty much stable. Nobody is really having any issues. This makes my job easy, but it also makes my job boring. The things that I need to do, I am dependent on someone else doing their job first. I have to make a referral for a child to get an OT evaluation. However, I can't do that until someone else calls and gets referrals. I have a couple of similar situations. There are also some people that I have had to go visit multiple times to get them off their butts so that they will do what they need to do so that I can do what I need to do. Friday I went back and forth with people so much I got so frustrated and fed up I just left early. I consider myself to be a hard worker and a good social worker, but it's so annoying when I have to wait for others to do their jobs!

OK, enough ranting. I would like to begin looking at houses in our area. The problem is, I'm not sure what Robbie and I can afford. And housing prices have gotten completely ridiculous. I offered to buy James out of our house (technically it is still ours) but he said no. So, I'm gonna start looking to see what's available, and I guess start talking to a real estate agent. It's a shame that everything costs money. Life would be a lot easier otherwise.

Robbie's been away all last week and he'll be away all this week. It's kind of weird being in my apartment by myself. It is actually the longest that I've "lived" by myself. I know, it's sad. But, sometimes it's nice having the apartment to myself. The television has barely been on all week. I have been able to sit and read or crochet, or whatever I want to do. Don't get me wrong. Living with Robbie is wonderful. He and I do get along really well, and we don't really have any issues about me reading or the TV being on or whatever. But, when I'm by myself, I can do WHATEVER I WANT! By the end of the week it will be nice having him home though. It was nice having him home this weekend.

Anyways, nothing else is going on in my life at the moment. I guess I'll go back to being bored at work. Maybe I can light a fire under someone and actually get something done today.

Guilt

2005-02-24T12:52:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to feel a little guilty for not posting as often as I used to. It's like I have a life or something...which we all know can't be true. I called into work for a variety of reasons this morning. I'm having trouble sleeping again, and every where I look, it says that I should get checked for Depression. But I don't feel depressed. I feel good actually, with the minor monthly crankiness that goes on. But I was really tired this morning, so I decided that I would sleep a little longer and go in late. The second reason that I called in was that it is snowing out, and every county school system in like a hundred miles is closed. It kind of baffles me that school systems close so that children don't have to get transported home in dangerous weather conditions, but work places (like the government...grrr...) don't close because it is okay for adults who actually have to drive in the bad weather to go home in dangerous weather. Makes sense, right? Well, maybe I just really didn't want to go to work today, so I came up with some reasons for staying home. I do have to go do a home visit this afternoon, so I didn't take the whole day off.

I'm looking out the window by the balcony and the snow looks so pretty coming down and coating the ground. It's a shame it's such a bitch to drive in.

I can hear the people who live above me vacuuming their carpet. It's like the third time in four days that I have heard the vacuum running. Does anyone actually vacuum daily? Am I supposed to be doing this? If I am I feel very uninformed (of course, anyone who has been to my parents' house would know that I was never taught to vacuum on a daily basis).

This is all very random, but that's okay with me. I don't have anything incredibly thrilling going on right now. Eddy has guns on his blog. Melissa is talking about death and dying. I don't know what the hell Dave is talking about. I guess I need to come up with something more interesting to talk about. I could post pictures of my two scarves that I crocheted. Yay! I actually did a pretty good job and got complimented on one of them.

Ah well, I guess I'll stop being a slug and go get ready for my home visit. I'm thinking of changing the template of this blog again because I think the blue is getting to be too bright for me. I'll contemplate it.

Yep, I'm a liberal

2005-02-07T11:57:00.000-05:00

I found this great quote by Albert Einstein:

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.

I also liked this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?

What a weekend!

2005-02-03T14:10:00.000-05:00

OK, so it's not really the weekend anymore. I guess technically, we are closer to the next weekend then the past weekend. So to clarify, I had a crazy weekend last weekend. There. That's better. We hung out with Bec and Chris Friday night. Chris has connections at P. F. Chang's, so we were able to skip the line at the door and get seated right away. How cool is that? Then, we went back to Bec and Chris' house and we played a card game. Now, maybe we sound like total losers for playing a card game on a Friday night. But it was soooo much fun! The game is called Phase 10, and it is kind of like Uno, except not really. (And we all know my love of Uno, right??) So anyways, we played for about three hours. Robbie was ahead for the entire game, and then at the very end, Becca won! Mwahahahaha! But it was great fun.

On Saturday, I had agreed (somewhat foolishly, I admit) to go skiing with Bec, Chris, and Robbie at Liberty Mountain. I had never been skiing or snowboarding, so I had no idea what great fun I was in for [add heavy sarcasm]. Since the three of them were all snowboarding, I didn't want to be the lone skier, so I snowboarded too. OK, first fun part - walking with a snowboard attached to your foot...Feet quickly become tired and begin to hurt. We had just missed the class that we were going to take, so we had to wait an hour for the next one. It was someone's bright idea that we should practice for that hour that we had to wait. Chris showed me how to do nothing, but not for lack of trying. I did sort of master walking with a snowboard attached to me. But, beyond that, there was no stopping, turning, or anything other than moving at a high rate of speed and falling down. So, then the class began. Unbeknownst to me, my legs were done for the day. I could hardly do anything, and it was quickly apparent to me and the instructor (his name, too, was Chris), that I was going to be mostly nonfunctional. But, I tried my damnedest. We practiced going straight down a hill, and turning while going down the hill. I mastered neither. I did master falling down. Bec, Robbie, and I rode up to the top of the little mountain on the ski lift and promptly fell off all together when we got to the top. I was completely exhausted by this time. And as we lined up to go down this big hill on this five foot long board with both feet attached, my legs began to think on their own. They thought, "Fuck that!" At that point, my board, with one foot attached, went one way, the rest of my body went the other way, and I abruptly twisted my knee and fell over. I thought that was the fun part. The even more fun part was waiting for ski patrol to arrive, wrap me like a dead body, and pull me down the hill in a tobogan. Oh, you have not lived until you experience this. Along with the cold air flying by, you get to feel first hand all of the bumps as you fly down the mountain at a speed that feels quite a bit too fast. And, I got to hear kids yelling, "Look, that's the fourth injury we've seen today!" I closed my eyes and prayed for it to be over. By the time we completed this fun trip down the mountain and arrived in the clinic, my knee was feeling a bit better. I got to sit in the clinic for a while and chat with my emergency tech person, who was also a social worker. She told me not to give up on the skiing or snowboarding. Um, yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Anyways, to end my already too long story, nobody ever looked at my knee, and they sent me on my way after about an hour. Luckily for me (and unluckily for several others), I was not the worst injury in that clinic. There were several broken and sprained wrists, and the kid next to me did not remember how he got to the clinic. I was, however, the oldest person there. Ah, what good memories I'll have from this trip.

Undoubtedly, the best part of the day was getting to play Phase 10 again. We drove back to Rockville after our skiing excursion. It was snowing at this point, and it took a little while to get back. We ate at an all you can eat pizza place called CiCi's on Rockville Pike, and then went back to Bec and Chris's. We watched Shrek 2 and played cards and that was much more fun, in my opinion, than standing on a board and riding it down a mountain. But, that's just me.

All this week, I have been in serious pain. My knee has been sore, but not swollen or anything. However, I have muscle pain like you can't imagine! I didn't know I had so many muscles that could all hurt at the same time. But, Robbie is going to take me back up onto the mountain and try again. I can't decide if this sounds like a good idea or not. I'm thinking I might try skiing next time, although neither skiing nor snowboarding sounds particularly fun.

OK, now I've told my little snowboarding story to a couple of people who found it really amusing. But I'm sure everyone reading this can feel my pain, right???? :-/

It's a hard knock life

2005-01-27T20:52:00.000-05:00

Sometimes my job makes me want to go to my mom's house and hug my parents and never let them go. I have now successfully done the two most difficult parts of a child welfare social worker's job. In August, I removed two children from their mother's care because I felt that she was placing them at risk (you can read all about it in a post written around August 24, 2004). Today, I had to tell the same children and mother that the children's permanency goal was changed from reunification with their mother to adoption. That means that the children will never live with their mother again. It means that, if they are adopted, their mother will not be allowed to speak to them or see them again until they are adults (and if, as adults, they choose to contact their mother). The children in this case are not little. They are twelve and fourteen years old. They know their mother. They love their mother. Even though Mom neglected them, emotionally abused them, and placed them in harm's way by smoking crack in their presence, they still love her. I went to the fourteen year old girl and told her that she would not be able to live with her mother ever again. I explained to her how adoption works, and told her that she was old enough to choose not to be adopted. However, she could also choose to be adopted if she wanted that. This girl was so strong during this conversation. She listened and she understood. I had tears in my eyes telling her this, and she just nodded and listened. It was sooooo hard to tell her she would never be able to live with her mother again. I can not imagine what it would feel like as a child to hear that. I can't imagine what it would feel like, as a mother, to hear that she will never again be able to have her children in her home. And, in all likelihood, she will lose all of her parental rights, and never be able to see her children again. Sometimes, my job is so hard and painful, it makes me wonder why I went into this field. But, at the same time, it brings me real joy to see how these children have grown and blossomed since they were removed from their mother's care and placed in foster care. They are smart, funny, beautiful children. They are excelling in school and in their lives. They have people in their lives that love them, and that show them that they love them on a daily basis. I take for granted the fact that I had that, but it makes me realize that I need to truly appreciate the love that I received, both as a child and now, from my parents.

OK, it's been a very stressful day, and so I'll stop talking about my hard job.

I finished crocheting a scarf. I even added tassels to it. Yay! I guess I should take a picture and post it, but I'm emotionally and physically drained from the stress that occurred at work today. I'm now working on another scarf, and I told Robbie I would make an afghan for the house (ha! It will be done around Christmas!). But I'm finding that crocheting is a good way to wind down and relax from hard days at work. My mind can wander, and I can think about anything I want, or absolutely nothing. That is a good feeling.

Robbie has just about completed his first week of the academy. Apparently, it's awful. It's boot camp all over again. He is currently studying for an exam tomorrow, and he clearly doesn't want to study (he tried to find ANYTHING to do other than study). But, on the bright side, he is 4 percent complete (and only has 96 days left) :)

Anyways, I'm going to go finish unwinding and probably go to bed. I think I need a year-long vacation.

So long...

2005-01-12T20:08:00.000-05:00

No, not like, "So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye." More like, it has been so long since I posted something. Yes, I'm weird. No, not weird - unique! :) Anyways, life has been busy. I have been crazy busy at work, writing five court reports in the span of a week and a half. I have four hearings this month, the first of which was today. The judge was displeased with me, which was a first (although apparently this judge is always displeased).

The only big news for right now: Robbie got offered a job on the UMCP police force. So he is gonna be a police officer! YAY! I think I'm yaying more for him, not really for me. For me, it becomes lonely nights and ulcers from being worried all the time, but at least he will be happy.

I have started seriously working on my crocheting. I was working on what I thought was going to be a scarf. Well, I guess about 15 rows into it, I realized it was not going out straight like a scarf should, but was turning more and more into a triangle shape. This is not bad for, say, a pot holder. However, it is bad for a scarf. So, I read my nifty directions, and it turns out I was missing the important step that kept it from going into a triangle. So, as I had used half of my ball of yarn, I started over with a new color. Now, it's coming along at a slow pace, but it is still straight! YAY!!! I never knew I would or could get excited about crocheting, but indeed I am. If it keeps progressing, I may even post a picture to show the finished (or sort of finished) product. When we were out buying yarn, Robbie found a website on one of the yarns where you can get free patterns! I was excited about this, until I went to the site. Most of it is for people who know what they are doing, which doesn't include me. But, I'm learning, so when I learn to do more, I'll try one of those patterns. For now, I will finish my scarf, and then I am going to try to work on an afghan (ha! I'll keep y'all posted on how well that's going!).

Oh well, since the bulk of my blog has to do with crocheting, I guess my life is undeniably dull right now. But, I'm okay with that.

2005-01-01T01:14:00.000-05:00

HAPPY 2005!!!!! :)

Is there a Santa Claus?

2004-12-24T20:00:00.000-05:00

From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897.

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

"Dear Editor--I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.' Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?"
Virginia O'Hanlon 115 West Ninety-fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Almost Christmas

2004-12-23T22:16:00.000-05:00

I think I feel almost giddy. Today, I did three home visits. I went and visited with a teenager who has not been living in her mother's care for more than two years. She has most recently been in a residential facility in Florida, and due to good behavior, was able to come home for the holidays. I met with her, her sister, and her mom this afternoon, and it felt so wonderful. I think what felt good was that Nikita was so happy to be home with family, and that I was able to advocate for this trip and to facilitate it and actually make it happen. The second visit I did was to a 12-year-old who has been living in a group home for the past month. Although living there isn't the greatest thing in the world, he has been happy there. It was sad, because he did not get the Christmas presents that he was hoping for from CFSA, and he will not be able to see his mother for Christmas (because she is in detox). But, he was happy to see me, just the same, and he will be able to spend time with his sister on Christmas. The last visit I did was to his sister. She is 14, and lives in a foster home. It felt so good to see her for several reasons. One, she is doing so well in this foster home, and even though I had to remove her from her mother a few months ago, she seems happy. Second, there was a long time that she did not like me and was very angry with me, because I removed her from home. However, she now actually seems genuinely happy to see me, and she even gave me a Christmas present. She will also get to spend Christmas with her brother which will be good for her.

I think now that Christmas is just two days away, I feel all happy and less stressed. I can't quite describe why exactly. But it just feels like a happy time of year. I'm trying to put it into words and I'm failing miserably. I feel good as a social worker, because all of my kids are safe and happy, and I was able to make real changes in some of their lives this year. My job is hard and at times, painful. But, to see the happiness in Nikita's face when she got to see her mom this afternoon, and in Shardonna's face when I dropped by unannounced to see her at her foster home, it makes the painfulness of my job worthwhile. I didn't get Shardonna and Jamal presents because I thought if I did that then I should get all of my kids (which number nine now) presents. But, when I saw them today, it felt wrong. I feel like they have been through a whole lot this year, and really all their lives, and that I have become one of the few people in their lives that they really trust. And it felt like, when I saw them tonight, that I should give them some kind of present to show them that they are special to me. I'll drop by on Monday with some presents (although at this time, I have no clue what to get them!). I know that Christmas is about much more than giving and receiving presents, but I think that maybe giving some sort of small gift just to show that you care can go a long way. I should have realized that before today.

Anyways, I don't know where the year has gone. I spent the holidays (well, the day after Christmas through after New Year's) in South Carolina last year. This year, I have Robbie here with me. I have now been in my current job a year. It just feels like the time has gone by so quickly, and I'm afraid that means I'm getting old :) But, all in all, I feel very good about life, and know that this year, though almost gone, I have learned a lot about life and a lot about myself. And, I think that's a good thing.

Really long day

2004-12-15T23:28:00.000-05:00

It's been a long day. It began with my supervisor talking to us about the shooting that occurred at my office over the weekend. This was news to me. Apparently, the director of intake and investigations (I think) has been getting death threats recently, and on Sunday while she was working, someone shot at her from outside her office window. I guess she was not in the office, as nobody was hurt. But, the scary part is that it is believed that the death threats and violence are coming from someone within my agency! Someone that we all work with is who is thought to be responsible for this! That scares the shit out of me! Here I am, feeling pretty safe in my little office building downtown amidst all sorts of federal buildings. I don't feel safe when I do home visits (I carried my pepper spray while walking to and from an apartment tonight) but at least I felt safe in my little cubicle. But instead, now I wonder if someone in my office is going to fall victim to senseless acts of violence. I don't like that feeling. I don't want to have to wonder if I am going to be safe at work. I think about it enough on home visits, walking through my own parking lot in the evening, walking to the Metro at night. I want there to be one place in my little world that I feel completely safe. And, if that is not possible in the DC Metro area, then I need to move.

The next funnest part of my day was a home visit that I did. I really only needed to go do this visit to ensure the apartment was safe enough for a child to live in for two days over the holidays. Short visit, in and out in about 30 minutes. Nope. I was there for two hours. Even though I said several times that I really needed to go, and even though I completely explained how I had to take the agency car back to the office and then ride the Metro all the way out to the end of the line, and even though I put my coat on and walked over to the door...it still took me two hours to get out of there. This is after walking three blocks down a street in NE DC to get to and from my car. On the way back to my car around 7:30 this evening, there were two cops there...one pulling into a parking lot with his lights on, and another cop conveniently parked in the middle of the sidewalk. The first cop started running code right when he passed me, and then pulled into a parking lot right next to me. I was sure he was going to ask me what I was doing walking down the street at night (little white girl...in an all not-white neighborhood). But, apparently he was going to arrest someone else. So I kept walking, walked by the cop who was parked on the sidewalk (he just nodded his head at me and kept going), walked around his cruiser, and made it to my car unscathed. But, I was on the ready just in case someone wanted to get by those two cops and get to me. I had my pepper spray in one hand, and my keys in the other. Are we getting the idea that SAFETY IS AN ISSUE????

Finally, to top the evening off, Robbie found out that his schedule for Christmas Eve and Christmas changed. I won't really get to spend any time with him at all on Christmas. Originally, he would be starting work at 3, which sucks, but I get the morning with him. Now, he can either start at 10 and work until 8, or start at noon and work until 10. Both of them mean that I can't really spend time with him Christmas morning, and there is no way that he will be able to have dinner with my family either. Furthermore, he is working until 2 am on Christmas Eve (I guess that's really Christmas morning) so he is going to be really tired after his Christmas shift and I won't get to spend time with him that night either. I think it sucks. He's angry. And there isn't shit that can be done about it. So, since I can't fix it and neither can he, and me getting pissed at him isn't going to make the situation any better, I figure I'll rant on here for a minute.

Like I said, it's been a really long day. I'm too tired to rant anymore tonight.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2004-12-12T01:30:00.000-05:00

Again, I feel like I have been so busy, and have not taken time to write on this blog. So, let me try to correct this, at least in a short post.

Last weekend we went to Butler's Orchard and cut down our Christmas tree. It was fun; I have never actually cut down my tree before. Then, we went to Target, Walmart, Lowe's, and Target again, trying to find decorations, a tree skirt, etc. I also got Christmas cards, because the plan was to get them all sent before the middle of December. So, last Saturday night, we played Christmas music and decorated the tree (See tree below). It was a lot of fun.

So far, I have written almost all of my cards. I have a few that I wrote tonight that need to go into the mail, but I'm mostly done with that task. You can see in the foreground of this picture a ball of yarn. About a month ago, Becca was teaching me to crochet. I keep getting frustrated with it, so I haven't gotten very far with it. But, I'm trying to crochet a scarf, or something simple to begin with. Maybe I'll actually finish it one day.

Here is another picture of the tree. I think the picture looks a bit crooked, but it shows all of the presents under the tree! (Actually, I think most of those gifts are for Robbie, not me. But that's okay.)

Finally!

2004-11-29T12:28:00.000-05:00

I'm finally getting around to updating my blog. I know everyone has been holding their breath until my next post. I've been so busy though I just haven't had time. This time, that's actually true (sort of). I had gotten used to updating during work hours. However, I was really busy at work right before we went on vacation. Things got really crazy last Tuesday, the day we were leaving for South Carolina, and we didn't end up leaving DC until almost 7 p.m. Three hours later, after we had traveled a whopping 55 miles (yes, over a three hour time period) we decided to stop at a Waffle House and have a yummy dinner. Then, I picked up the driving. However, by 1 a.m. I was sooo tired, and we had to stop in North Carolina and sleep.

Our vacation was nice (well, as nice as a vacation can be when it is with family). We got to spend Thanksgiving with some of Robbie's relatives. Then, on Black Friday, we braved a couple of stores for some Christmas shopping. Interestingly enough, the only things that we bought were for ourselves :-D Saturday, we went to Charleston to see some more of Robbie's family, and we went to eat at this really good restaurant called California Dreaming. We then drove through a three-mile loop of an amazing Christmas light display. There were some really cool lights, however the pictures we took don't do them justice. Once I find Robbie's camera, maybe I'll post one or two of the pictures.

This week, I want to go to Target or Walmart or Lowe's to get some Christmas decorations. We are going to go on Saturday and cut down a Christmas tree at a tree farm. I'm so excited. I love Christmas, and I get into the decorating and all that fun stuff. Robbie was telling me about how he used to go out and shoot mistletoe out of trees when he was younger. We probably won't go to that extent, but it will be fun just the same.

I am about halfway through the Dan Brown book Digital Fortress (last of the books that I have read, first that Dan Brown wrote). As was all of the others, this one is good. The characters aren't quite as well developed, but I'm quite enjoying the book. It will probably get sent out to California for Kath to read when I'm done with it (under the guise of a Christmas present).

Anyways, I guess that's all for now. I'll try to be more diligent about updating more often.

What I did on my summer vacation...um, I mean on my birthday

2004-11-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

So, I had a pretty good birthday. I got lots of stuff, and I guess I should list what I got so I don't get duplicates for Christmas. So, I'll give a quick list:

Celtic knot ring
Terps red hooded sweatshirt
Terps license plate frame
mp3 player
coloring book and art stuff :-D
foot jewelry (or something like that)

So, anything on my previous list that is not on the above list is still fair game. Some of the things that I remember from memory, without looking at my wish list is: towels, bedding set, anything from Victoria's Secret...I can't remember anything else offhand. But I'll keep thinking about what I want for Christmas.

So back to my birthday...it was good. I got to sleep late. And then Robbie and I went for a walk at Greenbelt Park. We made the mistake of going out to Tyson's Corner for dinner right at rush hour...it took an hour and a half to get there. But we had a good dinner at Rainforest Cafe, and then had cake at Mom and Dad's. I got to talk to my sister when I was opening presents, so that was fun. Otherwise, I guess it was just a regular day. And now I'm one year older (for those of you playing along at home, that would make me 26). But life is good, so I guess 26 is okay :)

Getting old

2004-11-16T14:25:00.000-05:00

I'm turning old tomorrow. Or I guess I'm turning older, not necessarily old (my sister might beat me with a stick if I say I'm old). I have felt kind of frazzled today at work. Court went well, because I finally closed a case! Yay! I feel like hard work and diligence paid off! Well, it sounds good anyways. And it's nice to get praise and recognition from judges and lawyers, because it doesn't happen that much. But I always make an effort to turn my court reports in on time (which technically means ten business days before court). Not many social workers actually do that. Well, the judge and one of the attorneys gave me recognition for such a timely court report. It made me feel good. I guess I should feel good because I know I'm doing the best I can do. But praise helps, too :)

I planned to bust my butt and do a court report and social summary from the time court ended (so, say about 12:30) until my home visit, which I have to leave for at 6:30. I was going to get so much accomplished. Well, a coworker called in sick, and so now I have to spend the afternoon taking two of my kids to therapy, which is not a difficult task, it is just extremely time consuming. Therapy is at 4:15, but I have to leave at 3 to go get the kids, take them to therapy, and then take them home afterwards, which burns my entire afternoon. So, instead of getting to work on all of my stuff, I will be busy from 3 until probably about 5:45. I guess I can work from 5:45 until 6:30, but by then I'm just going to be drained, cranky, and tired. I completed my court report, so I'm taking a few moments to just unwind and write before I have to go play chauffeur.

Back to my birthday :) I'm excited. I always get excited for my birthday, although I'm not sure why. It's not because of presents or whatever. I think I just like the attention (hehehe!). I'm taking off work to just relax tomorrow. And when you say it's your birthday, everyone is like, "Oh, happy birthday!" like that's the best thing they have heard all day. But, again, like the praise, it's nice to hear :)

I'm just all about myself today... :-P

Cool website

2004-11-12T14:35:00.000-05:00

Mike showed me this cool website where he designed his own stuff for his riding group. Apparently, you can send in your own designs, and this company will make you up clothing and different things with your design. Pretty cool, huh?

Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue

2004-11-11T22:28:00.000-05:00

Being Veteran's Day, it seems appropriate to write something about our men and women who are currently and have, in the past, served our country. I hope that everyone in this country thinks about them, prays for them, and thanks them on a daily basis for what they give up for us. I have only really known two people who have served in our armed forces - my brother-in-law and my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I don't remember a whole lot about Mike when he was in the Navy. I know that he spent a good deal of time away from his family, and he was willing to go out and die for his country. Robbie, who has only been out of the Army for a year, has a very real chance of being recalled to assist his country in the war against terrorism. Robbie saw things and experienced things that he would never want to again. He spent five years away from his family and loved ones, and was put in harm's way. He has the very real possibility of being called back up to go to the Middle East, and he would go without question if he were called. How many of us can honestly say that we would, willingly, put ourselves in danger for our country? Sitting here watching Saving Private Ryan, it gives me renewed appreciation of those that serve our country. I am in awe of the strength and bravery that it must take to put one's country ahead of oneself.

Update on wish list

2004-11-10T21:48:00.000-05:00

OK, so I guess I should update my blog if I end up getting something off of the Christmas wish list (for example, for my birthday). Well, I really wanted the Toby Keith CD, so I got it for myself this evening. So, that one can come off. I'll see if I can think of something to replace it on the list.

My wish list

2004-11-10T11:58:00.000-05:00

With the holidays coming (holidays, meaning my birthday and Christmas), I've been asked to make a list of things that I want. Even though I try very hard to pretend I'm not spoiled, when I try to make a list, I realize just how spoiled I really am. Thus far, I have come up with three concrete things to put on my list: a red hooded MD sweatshirt (I saw one that I liked at the store on campus); a Celtic knot ring like the one I lost last year at the lake house; and an IPod or Dell Digital Jukebox. There are things I always want, such as anything from Victoria's Secret, purses, clothes, jewelry. But, those things are not specific, and thus are not good items to put on a list (so I've been told, anyway).

So I'm sitting here, being a slacker (again), and trying to come up with a wish list. Here's my best attempt thus far.

A new Terps license plate frame.
A 2005 calendar.
The new Toby Keith CD.
A Barnes and Noble gift card.
A pair of WARM winter gloves (all the gloves I have don't really keep my hands warm).
A dressy watch.
A Victoria's Secret gift card.
A gift certificate for a massage (such as SpaWish).
A crock pot.
A new bedding set.
Anything else that you think I might like!

I know that most of the time, people don't like to get gift certificates. I, myself, like to be able to get someone something personal. But, when all else fails, gift certificates work.

**Note: This list is in no way requiring that people who do not ordinarily get me gifts to buy me gifts for my birthday and/or Christmas. It is just the product of brainstorming that is being done on my blog instead of on a piece of notebook paper. This list is mainly for my family and Robbie.

Walmart and such

2004-11-06T22:31:00.000-05:00

Like I anticipated, I did nothing today. Robbie slept most of the day since he worked all night. I enjoyed the quiet of the house and read into the middle of the afternoon. I got up and cleaned up the kitchen for a little while. Then I read some more. I had planned to wash a couple of loads of laundry, but Robbie woke up and said we could do it tomorrow. And, being the slug that I have been all day, I said okay. So then, I read some more.

I finished up The Brethren. It was pretty good, not as good as some of Grisham's earlier novels. But, it kept my interest and I finished it pretty quickly. I think I'm going to start on Digital Fortress next. I have read all of Dan Brown's other novels, and I'm curious to see how this one ranks.

I need to go to Walmart. That will probably be one of the only things that gets accomplished tomorrow. I'll get up and go to Church, maybe get one or two loads of clothes washed, and hopefully get out to Walmart. I usually go to Target instead of Walmart for a variety of reasons. One, Target is closer. There is a Target that is about five minutes away whereas Walmart is a good fifteen or twenty minutes from my house. Two, Target has more upscale products. In general, I would rather buy something from Target, such as underwear or the like, than I would from Walmart. Third, Walmart usually has scary people shopping in their stores. If you have never heard it, I urge you to listen to Rodney Carrington's routine about Walmart. The most disturbing part about it is that most of what he says is true. But, I digress. As I said, I need to go to Walmart to get some dishes. We have been in this apartment for going on three months, and we have five plates to eat off of. And, two of those plates are my mom's. Same goes for bowls. So, I want to go to Walmart to get a set of Corelle dishes. They are not good and expensive like Pfaltzgraff or Lenox. But, it will give me another four plates and bowls so I don't have to wash dishes so often. I need a few other items that I can get from Walmart (toiletries and the such). But, the main part of my mission is to get dishes. Robbie says that we can use paper plates, but it would be nice to have some sort of set of dishes that we can use if and when we decide to have people come over to our apartment. So, my day tomorrow will prove to be as uneventful and mundane as today was. How is it that every weekend I plan to get so much done, and when the weekend finally gets here, it flies by and nothing gets accomplished?

Roses are...white!

2004-11-06T21:57:00.000-05:00

Flowers that were given to me for no reason at all...isn't that sweet? :-P

White is my favorite color of the day

2004-11-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

I came home from work today with a headache, and I took some medicine and then took a nap. When I got up, Robbie had gotten me a dozen white roses, I think to make me feel better. He knows how down I get about having all these headaches, and it was a very nice surprise. It made me smile :-D I took some pictures, but when I went to upload them on here (so everyone could see and be envious!) I couldn't find my USB cable. Hopefully I'll find it tomorrow and then I can put a picture on here. I feel so loved!

New name

2004-11-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to come up with a better name and/or description for my blog. I'm just not satisfied with what I have (of course is anyone, ever??). However, I'm drawing a blank, and I'm just not sure what to write. I want something cute and catchy, something that will reflect my personality. Oh well. I'll keep thinking.

I'm done ranting...

2004-11-05T14:30:00.000-05:00

I will say that I appreciate the comments from Melissa and Eddy. I hear you and appreciate that you defend your candidate. I, however, still believe that Bush has done damage to some Americans, especially the poor and disenfranchised. I see so many people that I work with who would benefit from better health care, better mental health services, better schools. I realize that Kerry had lofty ideals that would have been difficult to fund. However, I agreed more with his ideals than I do Bush's, and I feel that many people are going to remain disadvantaged while Bush is in the White House. That being said, I respect the fact that Bush is going to be the President for the next four years, and I will do my best to support him as much as I can tolerate.

OK, tirade over.

Other stuff...

I lead a dull life. I don't have any plans for the weekend, except to wash clothes and perhaps clean the house. I have another headache, and can not figure out what is causing them. I'm reading a Grisham novel, The Brethren. I think it's a few years old, but so far it's pretty good. I also have a few LSAT study books lying around that I keep meaning to go through. I really need to set aside several hours, take one of the LSAT practice tests, and see what it is really like. I just can't decide if I'm motivated enough to go back to school. Anyways, I think I need a nap. But instead, I guess I'll go meet with my supervisor. TTFN!

Elephants suck!

2004-11-03T15:18:00.000-05:00

At least I'm not the only one who is completely disappointed by the election results. (Click here, and here, and here...) I was going to stay away from political discussion on this blog, but I feel compelled to say something. Someone please explain to me what Bush has done that has been so great in the past four years? Please? I'm listening. Because, I haven't seen it. Although I have been accused of it, I don't dislike Bush because he is a Republican. I dislike him because he hasn't done anything for this country. Let me rephrase...he hasn't done anything positive for this country. He has decreased funding for mental health. He has concocted some crazy Medicare plan that has no hopes of helping poor people. He has sent so many young men and women over to Iraq and then given them no chance of making any progress. It seems to be more of a death sentence than a peace-keeping mission. So, I ask again, what has Bush done? I know that some argue that the country would be in worse shape if someone else were in the White House when 9/11 happened. Fine, he handled 9/11 in some sort of okay manner. How about the other 45 months that he has been in office? All I have seen him do is alter the English language during his speeches and...well, that's about all I have seen him do. I'm not saying that Kerry would have changed the face of politics as we know it. But, I think we should have given someone else the chance to make a difference. Oh well. We still have 2008 to look forward to.

Lack of motivation

2004-11-02T11:34:00.000-05:00

I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like the past couple of days at work, I can not motivate myself to do much of anything! I've done some small tasks, such as make phone calls, schedule appointments, and write up a memo. But, I have a big packet of information I need to put together, including a pretty extensive social history, and I just can not motivate myself to do it! It seems like I find somebody else to call or something else to do (including updating my blog) so I can keep putting this thing off. My mom even made the mistake of saying that she sometimes plays (gasp!) Freecell at work, which prompted me to see if it is also on my work computer. Curses! It is! So, that is just yet another thing to occupy my time.

Today, I'm thinking I might need to leave a bit early (shocker, eh?) so I can get to the polls. It sounds like I may be waiting for two hours to cast my vote today, and I'm thinking if I can get there a little early, maybe I'll miss some of the crowds. I'm certainly not missing my chance to vote Mr. Bush out of office. And, who knows...afterall, the Redskins did lose on Sunday...so that means that Kerry should be the winner. I know it's too close to call, but if we all focus our energy on thinking that Kerry will win...well, draw your own conclusions. So, all you Democrats get out there and vote! (I'm sure this is just killing all of my Republican readers!)

OK, I've stalled long enough. Let me go find something else to do...um, I mean, let me go work on that social history :-D

Oh well

2004-10-29T21:29:00.000-04:00

I don't know what else to try. I tried to put that picture of me and Robbie with the rest of the pictures from Saturday night. But, no matter what I did or tried, it changed into a box with a red X in it. I wanted to add a title, and it wouldn't let me. I wanted to change the color and font of the text so that it matched the rest of this blog, and it wouldn't let me. No matter what, it changed to that red X. So, I uploaded it with a caption, and that is how it will stay. I know I'm probably the only one that cares that it doesn't have a title and that the caption is a different color than the rest of the text on this site. What can I say...I guess I'm just weird. If anyone knows how to fix this so that the picture doesn't turn into an X, let me know.

2004-10-29T21:19:00.000-04:00

Which one of us is sober???

The human head weighs eight pounds

2004-10-29T13:56:00.000-04:00

Here are some other interesting facts regarding the human body.

I went and had my CAT scan. (Here is what my head SHOULD look like.) No news. The guy who put me in the machine and actually did the scan probably did not speak doctor-ese, and would not have been able to read the scan. He told me that the doctor would read it and then send the report to my doctor in about one or two business days. So right now, I just have to figure that I'm not dying yet. Interestingly, I have felt better the past two days than I have in the past few weeks. No idea why. But I'm not going to complain.

As you can see, I posted some pictures to my blog last night. I had a cute picture of me and Robbie to post, but every time I posted it, it just came up as a box with a red X in it. I can not figure out why the other pics posted with no issues, and then the one of us would not post at all. It was very annoying. Maybe I'll try again tonight and see if it changes its mind and works.

Saturday night

2004-10-28T21:32:00.000-04:00

We went bowling Saturday night - we being me, Robbie, Becca, Chris, and Pat. Bowled poorly, but had fun. Here are some choice pics from our evening after bowling, hanging out at Becca and Chris' house.

Here's Pat! Watchin' the game, drinkin' some suds...

Becca and Chris...not exactly sure what they are doing...

Now this one is better...at least they are smiling!

Frost...

2004-10-28T14:45:00.000-04:00

Robert, not Jack.

It may be obvious that I am completely bored at work today. That doesn't mean that I have nothing to do. On the contrary, I actually need to complete a thick packet of information for an evaluation, as well as write a memo. However, I feel like doing neither of these. Instead, I would rather post on here for everyone else's amusement.

Now, back to Robert. One of my all time favorite poems is The Road Not Taken. To add some culture to this blog, I thought I would post that poem on here. So, here goes.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Notice anything different?

2004-10-28T14:30:00.000-04:00

So, I think the pink began to be nauseating. Seeing it every day on my blog and then also on Melissa's blog, it began to be a little much. So, I thought that blue would be a nice change. It should be pleasing for most (although Robbie won't like it because it is baby blue).

Not tonight honey, I have a headache

2004-10-28T13:07:00.000-04:00

OK, so I never say that. (Mom, if you are reading this, you can pretend that you didn't read that first line!) But, I do get headaches. And, lately, I feel like I'm getting more headaches. I don't really understand why. I don't really feel like anything has changed. I don't feel more stressed out, I can't track any foods that appear to be the culprits. I just don't get it. So, I broke down and went back to the neurologist. She gave me more prescriptions. She restarted a prescription that I took myself off of (she asked why I stopped taking it, and I couldn't remember! I'm such a bad person!). And, she gave me a prescription for a CAT scan. Some medical things are worded so funny. The prescription said "CT scan of head and contents." If they don't take a scan of the contents of the head, they really won't get much of anything, will they?

This brought up a scary thought though: What if they do a scan and there are no contents in my head??? Which would bring up another question: If there is nothing in my head, then would it be inaccurate to say that all of my brilliance and intelligence is all in my head??? (hehehe) OK, I'll stop, although I am amusing myself. :)

I guess the scarier thought is that the CAT scan will show something that is not supposed to be there, instead of showing that nothing is there at all. You always hear about these people who die of an aneurysm, and the only symptoms they had were really severe headaches. But, since thinking about what they might find will only stress me out, I won't think about that. Wish me luck though that I pass my CAT scan!

In other news...
I usually keep politics and religion out of my blog. Nobody really gives a damn about my political thoughts, and I'll get all sorts of nasty emails if I got into religion. So, we aren't going there. But, I did read an interesting article on The Washington Post webpage about Bush and religion. Like I said, I'm not going into the political stuff on this blog, but it has some interesting stuff on there, like "George Bush did what God wanted him to do." Yeah. OK. Whatever.

Stuff

2004-10-20T13:18:00.000-04:00

I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing me complain on this blog. Tough. When things are going well, I feel like I don't have anything to write about. Maybe I'm really a glass is half empty kind of girl. I'm annoyed at my supervisor. She gave us this long speech a few weeks ago about how important supervision is, and how we need to make an effort to have supervision. Some of us made the comment that when we have come to have supervision, my supervisor has had people in her office. She said that if that happens, she will ask those people to leave because that is our time to meet. Well, the past three weeks since she has made that little speech, I have not had supervision. Today, I went at my appointed time, and she had people in her office. And, instead of having them leave, she said it was "a necessary staffing" and that we could meet in a few minutes. I have now gone back to her office three times and she isn't even there. If supervision is so important, why is it that I NEVER have it? Today when I went into her office and she was too busy to meet with me, I suggested that we change my supervision time, as she never seems to be available to me at that time. She didn't really say anything. One of her main problems is that she does not mark off our supervision time in her calendar. Then, she schedules meetings and all sorts of other stuff there so that when I come to meet with her at our scheduled time, she is busy or not there! It is soooo frustrating! I have had this same time with her since January, and I have not had supervision more times than I have!

I guess I'll try to write about something happy now. Things are going well at home. Robbie and I are getting along really well despite having to learn how to deal with each other's little habits. One issue is that neither of us is all that fond of cleaning (I guess nobody is). So we have to push ourselves to do chores. They are getting done, albeit slowly. We also don't like cooking much, though he has made more dinners than I have.

I have been getting a chance to read some, especially when Robbie is at work on Saturdays and the few late nights that he has worked. I finished Deception Point last week. I enjoyed it, but I think that Dan Brown's more recent books were better. When I get a chance, I'm going to read the first book that Dan Brown wrote, Digital Fortress, as I heard it was good as well. I'm currently reading Donnie Brasco. I can't remember why, but for some reason Robbie and I were talking about the Mafia one day, and he said I should read this book. I never saw the movie, so I don't know anything about it. So far, it's interesting. I know very little about the Mafia, so thus far it is keeping my attention. We'll see if I still like it after 300 more pages.

The Jet Set

2004-10-18T15:10:00.000-04:00

Now I'm jealous. Apparently Tanya (my cousin, not my supervisor) is coming to MD two times in one 30 day period, going to Walt Disney World right after that, and going to Belgium right after that! So between October 28 and December 30, she will have gone all over the East Coast, and then to Europe! Does this seem fair to anyone else? And, at the end of January, she will be going to Vegas. OK, now I'm just getting mad. Apparently because Independence Air flies really cheap from Columbia, SC to other East Coast destinations, Tanya and her crew have just decided to go everywhere. I wanna go! [Insert temper tantrum here.]

Pillow talk

2004-10-18T14:52:00.000-04:00

The solution to my sleep difficulties, it seems, lies in my pillow. The pillows that I have been using were brought with Robbie when he came up. They were, in a word, sad. I think that they were, perhaps, brought with him across the Atlantic and from Washington. So, I thought it was time to get some new pillows. Enter WalMart, stage right. We went to WalMart, and since everything is always cheap there, we decided to get two thick pillows. They were nice. New. Plump. Looked good for sleeping upon. So, we moved the old nearly-dead pillows into the hall closet (for out best visitors, of course!) and put the new pillows on the bed. Now comes the sleepless nights. I think I slept fine for a few nights. But then, I couldn't sleep! For like four nights! That's hell when you want to concentrate at work, and when you are prone to getting migraines, it's no fun either. Robbie suggested that perhaps the problem was the pillow. (I hate when he turns out to be correct!) So, in the middle of one sleepless night, I got up and grabbed the better of the dead pillows from the closet. And now, I have slept very well the past couple of nights. So, I guess even if pillows look like they could use updating, consider how well you sleep before doing so. I now have one dead and one brand new pillow for overnight guests to choose from :)

Profiling

2004-10-14T16:30:00.000-04:00

On my profile, it says there have been 53 views of my profile. Who in the world has looked at my profile? And if anyone has looked at my profile, and thus, I assume, my blog, then why do only like two people leave comments???

Just plain tired

2004-10-14T16:21:00.000-04:00

I seem to be having trouble sleeping the past couple of nights. Like, I can't fall asleep for several hours, and I can't stay asleep for long periods of time. As a Moien girl, this is disconcerting, because usually we can sleep anywhere at any time. I don't really understand why this phenomenon is occurring. I have thought about all the usual suspects regarding sleep problems: caffeine before bed; too much sleep earlier in the day; stress. So, let's rule them out one by one. 1) I'm addicted to caffeine. I admit it. I'm a caffeine junkie. But, as such, drinking caffeine close to bedtime does not do anything for me. Plus, I don't think I have actually had much caffeine at night recently. 2) As mentioned previously, in a Moien girl, there is rarely such a thing as too much sleep. People who know us well (us being me, Mom, Kath) know that we enjoy sleep very much. We can sleep in cars, on airplanes, on beds, couches, chairs, the floor, etc. I did take a nap yesterday afternoon because I hadn't slept the night before. But it was not a very restful nap, and I don't think it would have affected my sleep last night. 3) What is stress? I think I'm usually stressed out. And it has kept me up before. However, work is going pretty well right now. I'm feeling pretty good about my cases, I'm ahead of the game on just about everything. I don't know what would have been stressing me out. Usually, when I'm stressed, I lay in bed and think about what I'm stressing over. But, the past two nights, I have been laying there thinking about nothing except wanting to fall asleep. It's not like I'm going to bed and I'm not tired. I am tired! My eyes are droopy as I lay on the couch! I'm ready to crash and sleep for like 12 hours. But, then I get in bed - and nothing happens. My body is being very cruel!

In other news, I had to go to the DC Superior Court today to pick up drug test results for one of my 12-year-old clients as well as his mother. On the plus side, both of them are testing negative, and have been doing so for a while. On the minus side, there were really scary people there drug testing. I didn't fit in. They were looking at me like, what are you doing here? You are in the wrong place. I felt like I was in the wrong place, too. Luckily, I didn't have to stay long. I got my drug test results and walked really quickly out of that area. (I know...I'm such a princess!)

I feel like I should write more, but have no clue what else to say. I'm realizing that I could never be a writer for a living. I seem to have perpetual writer's block! C'est la vie!

This seems appropriate

2004-10-11T20:28:00.000-04:00

In light of the comments I got on my last post, here is the story of The Little Red Hen.

Will work for food (well, sort of)

2004-10-08T13:13:00.000-04:00

It is nearly impossible to find anyone around this agency to help you out with anything. Everyone is too busy to help a sister out. (Go, team!) They have too many visits to do, too many notes to write. The best ones are those that just don't respond when you send an email out asking for help. Everyone is also too busy to show up for Program retreats. Nobody wants to sit around and participate in team building exercises all day. The last one we had, many people, including supervisors, chose to work instead of go to a non-working retreat.

BUT add food to the mix and people come out of the woodwork. Upstairs in our big conference room, we have 23 pizzas, two sheet cakes, and ten cases of sodas. And every social worker, social services assistant, supervisor, program manager, and administrator showed up to eat! Everyone was there acting as if they love everyone else in the unit. These are the same people that wouldn't help you unless you were on fire. And, old habits die hard. Our program administrator bought all of this food for us, because we met all benchmarks for the month of August or something. But, when he asked for five people to help carry the pizzas upstairs, everyone all of a sudden forgot English. People pretended they didn't hear him. They simply ignored the request. They were too "busy" to get the pizzas, but they seemed to get unbusy awfully fast when the pizzas showed up. And, all of these people are social workers! They live to help others! I think I'm starting to lose faith in the human race.

There's no excuse

2004-10-01T13:43:00.000-04:00

Since I'm getting harassed for not posting, I'm trying to come up with an excuse. My dog didn't die. My car didn't break down (I guess that's not really applicable anyways.) I've actually been kind of busy. But still, it doesn't feel like anything post-worthy has been going on. In short, I don't have an excuse for not posting; I just haven't done so.

Lessee...I'm the discussant for my book group this Sunday. I am discussing The Da Vinci Code. I read it once before, about a year ago, so I'm trying to finish reading it again so I can remember exactly what happened. I'm on about page 170 out of about 450, so it looks like I may be in trouble. I guess I'll spend most of Saturday reading so I can try to finish. I really liked this book and would recommend it. However, Dan Brown's first book, Angels & Demons, was better. I would highly recommend that one to everyone. It was entertaining, educational, and suspenseful. What more could one want in a book?

I assisted a coworker with a removal yesterday. She had to remove nine children from their parents. This one wasn't as traumatizing for me as my other removals as we picked the children up at school, not from their home. I guess it was also less stressful for me because I didn't know the children. But, even so, doing removals - in a word - sucks. It's sad and stressful, and it is the least fun part of my job. I realized yesterday that I have good social work skills. I was able to get three little kids (6- and 8-year-old males and a 5-year-old female) to talk to me immediately. They were friendly and even well-behaved. This was shocking in and of itself! But of course they were asking where they were going and started saying they wanted to go home. And even when home is definitely not the place for these children to be, it is so sad. These children are so resilient. I can not imagine how I would have been if I had been taken from my parents and put in some stranger's house. But, that's enough sad stuff.

I got to spend several days last week with my sister. That was really nice, as I had not seen her in a year and a half. I'm going to try to plan a trip out to Santa Barbara in the near future. I'll have to see if she has any pictures that are post-worthy.

I was very excited that American Dreams came back on last Sunday night. I don't have many TV shows that I must see, but that is one of them. I guess it's my soap opera, my little escape from reality for an hour. I love it. I would recommend it.

Since the highlights of this post are a book and a TV show, it's obvious that I don't have much of a life. But, I'm okay with that. I'll post again when I think of something exciting to talk about.

Uno!

2004-09-23T11:15:00.000-04:00

OK. So, I think my muse went on vacation. I have been trying to figure out what to write for most of the week, and I seem to have writer's block. I guess maybe that means that nothing new is going on.

I got to go back to my childhood last night. My sister is visiting this weekend. I think that as soon as I could talk, she taught me how to play Uno. Every time she comes to visit, we play for hours. So last night, even though she was really tired, Mom, Robbie, she, and I all played Uno for about an hour. It was a lot of fun. (I think Kath was cheating though, because she kept winning!)

I guess that's the extent of my exciting life. Oh well. If something more exciting happens, I guess I'll post it. But, that's all for now.

Apartment

2004-09-16T22:51:00.000-04:00

Pictures from the apartment (finally!)

Beach pics

2004-09-14T16:52:00.000-04:00

Me and Robbie at the beach

Mom and Dad at the beach

Some of the bikes at the motorcycle show

Ocean City

2004-09-14T10:43:00.000-04:00

This weekend, we went to Ocean City for the day. I haven't been to Ocean City in like six years, and from what I remember, it was beginning to get a little sketchy back then. There were all these rowdy kids (rowdier than I was, I'm sure) and half of them always seemed high. So, even though we went after Labor Day, I wasn't sure what to expect to see when we got there.

So, what did we see? About ten thousand bikers! Yay! It was somewhat overwhelming being surrounded by motorcycles and bikers and all. But, it was also kinda cool to see all the different bikes. Robbie was sure to point out to me the 43 different colors that he would like and the 16 different motorcycles that he would like to get. Now, I guess all we need is some money for said bike...

I like going to the beach. What I enjoy is laying out in the sun listening to music or reading. What I don't enjoy is going in the ocean. Well, I went in the ocean with Robbie, who was just completely thrilled to be in the water. I ended up ingesting more salt water than can be healthy and had more sand in my bathing suit than there was on the beach. Also, it is important to note, when going in the ocean, especially when there have recently been hurricanes in the vicinity, the waves tend to be really big. And when you are in really big waves, it is best to NOT WEAR A BIKINI. Yeah, I learned this from experience. 'Nuf said.

We had fun down there on Saturday (aside from my ocean-going mishaps). We got to wander up and down the boardwalk. We had lunch with Mom and Dad, who were up at the motorcycle show, sans motorcycle. (Now, does that make any sense?) And, I got tattooed! Hehe! If you are curious, ask me :-P

Since I'm updating my blog at work, I don't have any of the pictures with me. I'll post a few pictures of our trip tonight (as well as take pictures of the apartment and post them!).

Musings

2004-09-09T14:04:00.000-04:00

I feel like I should be writing on here and updating the fun and exciting happenings of my life. Alas, there isn't a whole lot to write about right now. Plus, I have no idea who, if anyone, is still staying updated on my life via this blog, or if the novelty has worn off. But, I feel like I should write, and so write I will.

Let's see. Robbie has been up here for like 13 days (I'm not counting or anything). I think I finally feel like it's my own apartment, because I know that I can wander around naked when I get out of the shower if I want without the fear that someone might see me. But, it still kind of feels like Robbie is on an extended vacation, and that he'll be going back to South Carolina soon. I can't quite explain why, and my cousin basically told me not to overanalyze the situation. But, it bugs me. We both get up every morning and go to work. We have both gone grocery shopping. Robbie has done a bunch of stuff for the apartment, including stuff like getting the phone and cable hooked up. We also both have done some cleaning in the apartment (although one of us doesn't seem to like doing dishes so much). Still, it feels like soon he is going to go home. All I can figure is that we visited each other once a month for so many months, this just feels like September's visit. I'm really glad that he's not going anywhere. (I'm not sure he would agree with my sentiment, but he hasn't left yet, so that must be a plus.) Maybe by October, the realness of the situation will sink in. We'll see.

I keep meaning to take pictures of the apartment and post them on here, but then I get home and forget. I guess maybe I need to post notes all over the place to remind me to do it.

Living in an apartment is a new experience for me. I'm not sure what the people on the floor above me are doing. Either they are sumo wrestling every night, or it's just really easy to hear when people above are walking around. I have yet to see any 800 pound Japanese men come into our building, so I'm guessing that the latter statement is true. I wonder what I sound like walking across the apartment to the people below me?

I'm currently reading a book called Truth & Beauty. I'm not sure how I feel about it, even though I'm two-thirds of the way done. It's kind of an interesting story about life and friendship. It's one of those books that you should read when you think that you have a rough life. However, the main character, Lucy, is so clingy and needy that I'm not sure I like her.

OK, I think I'm done for right now. This was one of those posts that really has no point, but it's still a stress reliever to just sit and write for a little while.

Honk if...

2004-09-08T11:56:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I don't think I am really from the Washington Metro area. For example, I'm not as rude as most of the people who live here. Also, I don't like to honk my horn incessantly like the majority of DC drivers. If everyone is driving slow, does it make any sense or serve any purpose to honk your horn? Maybe if you honk your horn, every car in front of you will magically speed up! I don't think so. I think that people who use their horn unnecessarily should have their cars automatically disabled. Or, they should be beat about the head with a Nerf baseball bat (that would be the more entertaining option). And these days, it seems idiotic to honk one's horn unnecessarily, because people will get out of the car and shoot you! IMHO, it makes more sense to just cuss through the windshield at a stupid or inconsiderate driver because I won't get shot for doing so. But that's just me. Maybe I'll write to GM and see about getting Nerf bats installed in all of the 2006 vehicles.

It's here!

2004-09-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's that time of year again when all Greenbelters can smell hot funnel cakes, and we all recite with the BINGO callers, "The little one, B-1!" If this doesn't make any sense to you, then you need to come to the Greenbelt Labor Day Festival, this weekend only! It's worth coming to, if just once in your life. If you feel that you are too old for carnival rides (or afraid that the Ferris wheel might break down and roll away with you), then you can come for the BINGO. Or the food. Or the used book sale. Or, you can come to see what we affectionately refer to as "Greenbelt People." Again, if you have never been to Greenbelt, or to the fair in general, then you should come just to see the Greenbelt People. But, I digress.

Greenbelt is full of history and life. Yes, it is true that many of the inhabitants of this small town are about 117 years old. But, Greenbelt can be fun-filled and exciting! (OK, not really, but it sounds good, right??) Immerse yourself into the history by watching the Miss Greenbelt Pageant and cheering for your favorite (we also have Little Miss and Junior Miss Pageants, too!). Come sit with the young and old, educated and thugs, and play BINGO (Blackout starts at about 11 p.m.). Have your fill of funnel cake, pizza pretzels, potato pancakes, cotton candy, fajitas, and more! It's the one time of year in our little world where we can be silly, eat whatever we want, and just destress for a little while. It's the perfect way to end the summer season!

It's official

2004-08-31T10:06:00.000-04:00

I am finally all moved in (well, pretty much) to my apartment. After two very exhausting days of moving and unpacking, Robbie and I actually have our apartment in pretty good shape. The four thousand boxes that we moved in have been unpacked (except for two of mine). We threw away 7 tons of stuff that we decided we could do without. I was even able to throw away things that I thought I would die without (such as old school ID cards, my baby pillow, and a variety of other items). It was weird sitting down the past few nights and realizing that is now my home, and that at the end of the day, I would be staying there and not going home to mom and dad's. Not a bad feeling, but I need to get used to it.

Stress

2004-08-25T14:26:00.000-04:00

Tip of the day: If you don't like stress, don't be a social worker.

I don't know which is worse

2004-08-23T11:58:00.000-04:00

Last week I complained about having nothing to do. Today, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan. You see, as a social worker, one of the icky parts of my job is to remove children when their home is unsafe and unhealthy. At CFSA, the mission is to promote the "safety, permanency, and well-being" of children. I have two kids who need to be removed from their mother's care. She is in an unhealthy relationship, she emotionally abuses her children, and she has relapsed and has been smoking crack again for more than two weeks. Unfortunately, it is my job to go in the apartment and remove the children, and in the process get screamed at and cussed out by the mother, and perhaps the boyfriend too. Now, I'm used to being screamed at and cussed out. But, when it is two people who are most likely high when they are doing it, it makes things a bit scarier. However, right now I'm just sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring. I'm waiting for placement to call me and tell me they have a foster home for the children. I don't want to remove these kids before I have a foster home for them to go to. Technically, I'm waiting for the mom to call me, as she was supposed to call me this morning. I don't want to call the mom for the following reasons: 1) Mom will yell and scream and cuss me out (not fun); 2) if they know that I am going to remove the kids, the kids will leave the house so that they are not there when I get there; 3) refer back to number 1. Yeah, maybe I'm a chicken, but that's okay. I like to come home in one piece at the end of the day.

So close, yet so far

2004-08-21T18:49:00.000-04:00

I was so close. It was mine. I overnighted the lease to Robbie. He signed all three copies, 13 pages each, notarized it, and overnighted it back to me. I got it on Thursday. At last, the apartment was to be mine. Alas, it was not to be.

Robbie did not sign the first page of the lease. He did not realize that he had to sign next to his name (where it was highlighted). Unbeknownst to us, the first page was the most important page of the entire lease. They would not let me move in because, although the next 12 pages were signed and notarized, the first page was not signed. To get me into the apartment today, I offered to pay the rent for September upon move in. Well, now that might work, said Holly at the rental office. Let me call my manager and see what we can work out. Alas, the manager, both of the managers, actually, does not work on weekends, and apparently does not return calls either. Although they were called several times throughout the day, by the end of the Saturday workday, I had no news about my apartment. Now, I think that it would be fair for them to take a month and a half worth of rent from me, in exchange for a faxed signature from Robbie, and the promise that he will sign the lease first thing on Sunday, August 29. My new friend Holly, who I spoke to about 20 times during the past week, felt so bad about the problem, and really hopes that she will be able to get me the apartment, at the very latest, by tomorrow. But, that possibility is looking dim right now.

Even though this is all Robbie’s fault (he even ADMITTED it), I still love him, and won’t hold it against him. Well, not for too long anyway.

Grammar Police

2004-08-20T10:31:00.000-04:00

I thought I had too much time on my hands...

http://www.blogger.com/knowledge/2004/08/eats-blogs-leaves.pyra

I think my sentence ended with an unnecessary ellipsis. Bummer.

Your online payment has been received

2004-08-20T10:08:00.000-04:00

I think I must be the only person in the world who looks forward to pay day in order to pay bills. Yep. I don't want pay day to get here so I can go get that cute new pair of shoes or a fall purse (though, undoubtedly, there are a cute pair of shoes and a new purse that I would like to get). Every other Friday, I rush to get to the online banking website to ensure that my check was deposited. And in the following fifteen minutes, I distribute my entire paycheck to different companies that I am keeping in business: CarMax Auto Finance, Geico, Sallie Mae, etc. The newest addition to this paying frenzy will be my rent payment, which will begin with the prorated amount tomorrow morning. Yet, I get excited about paying bills. I realize this doesn't make sense, and that Americans would rather spend money on things other than bills. I would, too. However, it feels good to see the bills getting smaller, and eventually (hopefully within my lifetime), there will be fewer people for whom I am paying their paychecks. I know that too many Americans are in debt. I'm striving so that soon there is one less.

You don't know what bored is!

2004-08-18T13:14:00.000-04:00

This is the third day this week that I have had literally nothing to do at work. Once in a while, one day a week, I can deal with. Three days in a row, and it feels like my time would be better spent elsewhere (like, at Victoria's Secret or, even better, sleeping!). I have had to resist the urge to just leave midday and go shopping or go and get my nails done during the middle of the day (some of my coworkers drive government cars to go get pedicures during the day, but I won't name any names!).

Yesterday, in my sheer boredom, I decided that I would try to learn html so that I could modify my blog. Yeah. That was a good idea. It took a friend a good long time to try to explain to me what I needed to do in order to modify it. I think he's glad I'm not one of his clients. Computer stuff, like html, completely baffles me. I don't know what I did, or how I did it, but I did manage to modify the template of my blog. Now, you can go to some of my favorite websites while you read about me. Incidentally, Mom thinks I'm a dork for having the Washington Post website on there. If you want to learn html, you too can become informed by taking a html tutorial.

Alright, that's enough about my boredom for right now. But look at my sidebar to see how completely talented I am!

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

2004-08-16T15:57:00.000-04:00

Everyone keeps asking when am I gonna post again, which is cool because that means people are actually reading this blog. But, now the pressure is on to write something, and I just don't know what to write.

OK, since I wrote those first two sentences, I do have something to write. Robbie is psychologically stable enough to work for UMCP, and so he is moving up here! YAY!!!

My first dilemma is what am I going to sleep on when I move into my new apartment. I have no bed to take with me. I guess I'll be sleeping on my futon until I get a bed. I know it sounds like a lovely plan. However, I don't think futons are known for being incredibly comfortable. So, despite the fact that I'm very excited about moving in to the apartment and all, I may be very cranky next week from not getting a good night's sleep (and as everyone knows, the Moien girls' favorite past time is sleeping!).

So here's my next dilemma. I was all excited about getting accessories for my new bathroom at my new apartment (I know, I'm so easy to please). I wanted to get a very feminine kind of theme - you know, like purple, maybe butterflies, something like that. Well, now that Robbie is for certain coming up to the DC Area, he isn't keen on having butterflies on the shower curtain. He wants something more gender neutral. Isn't it just a bathroom? Does it really matter whether you have a plain blue shower curtain or one with butterflies on it? We discussed like a shower curtain with fishes on it, which is a possibility (if I can find one) and then decorating with one of the colors from the fish shower curtain. But then, I won. He said that I could decorate any way that I like. But I know he was just being nice, and that he would be much happier with something sans flowers and butterflies and everything feminine. So, I'll see what I can do.

In a week, I'll have my own apartment with the accessories that I picked out, and lots of boxes with stuff that I have no idea what to do with. I packed boxes this weekend, and I have so much useless stuff that I can't bear to get rid of. But, I don't know where I'm going to put all this stuff either. I'll give an example. I found my ID holder from when I was an undergrad at UMCP. I graduated from UMCP in May 2000. Inside this ID holder was every registration card from my four years at UM. Which means, I had 9 registration cards (8 semesters, plus one summer semester), and I did not want to throw it away! What use do I have for registration cards from a school that I have not attended for four years??? So I went against my better judgment...And threw it all away. It was sad.

The other weird thing I found in packing stuff up at James' house, where most of my belongings still reside, is finding all of this "us" stuff. Wedding pictures, shower pictures, honeymoon souvenirs. Neither of us really wants to throw this stuff away. However, neither of us wants to keep it either. We decided to put it all in a box, and put in the attic at James' house. No matter what happened in the end, there were happy times between us, and throwing away that stuff is like throwing away the good times and the relationship as a whole. It seems like, overall, both he and I are in a good place right now, each in our own lives, and in our friendship. We are getting along much better than I can even remember. And we both have a lot of good things going on in our lives.

But, I digress. What have I learned thus far? Getting an apartment is a difficult and stressful task to undertake. Waiting to hear about getting a job is even more stressful (even if it's not my job I'm waiting to hear about!). But most important, I'm growing up. I'm becoming a responsible adult (ewww!). Overall, life is good.

How uncomfortable!

2004-08-13T14:38:00.000-04:00

I just had a conversation with someone I know who is having severe pain in one of his testicles. As a good social worker, I feel like I'm supposed to know what to say. So the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, "Oh my God!" Right, I'm sure that was completely helpful, and alleviated all anxiety and stress that he was feeling. And, I was right, that was completely the most unhelpful thing to say. He's like, "Why is it that when I have told anyone today that I'm having a shooting pain in my testicle, everyone says 'Oh my God!'?" So, then I try my very best to be a good friend, good social worker, etc. But, it's not really one of those things where you can say, I hope you feel better. And, I think that perhaps this is a guy's worst fear (at least physically). Well, I tried to be sympathetic, and help him stay calm and not be too worried, and gave him ideas on how to be calm until his doctor's appointment this afternoon.

I think I failed miserably.

Complain, complain!

2004-08-12T15:36:00.000-04:00

So, I got my first official complaint about this silly blog...and it came from my boyfriend! Apparently during my first post, he was not mentioned enough. Nevermind the fact that it was more about ALL the things going on in my life, and not just him. But, I'm now going to rectify this situation.

Robbie and I have been dating for more than a year, although we've known each other for almost six years. (Give or take a few in the middle.) It's all my cousin's fault that we met in the first place, and here we are all this time later...still living 500 miles apart. It doesn't seem right, huh? Anyways, as long as he is deemed psychologically stable, he will be moving up here in a few weeks and taking a new job, and then he won't be so far away (ask me in December whether or not I preferred it when he was farther away). I'm actually thrilled about him moving up here, and scared that he is going to be moving in with me, in my new apartment. Hopefully he doesn't have too many little annoying habits, because I won't have a balcony to throw him off of. I guess I can just make him sleep on the patio :-P

My biggest fear about him moving up here is that he is going to hate living so close to the city. He's from a little bumpkin town in South Carolina, and is not all that fond of city life. So, I'm attempting to find good ol' outdoor stuff for us to do to make him feel a little more at home. If anybody has any suggestions, let me know, because I think I'm going to run out of ideas quickly.

Anyways, Robbie and I are very happy together, and we are very much in love (right, Pookie??). He thinks I'm God's greatest gift to the Earth, and worships the ground I walk on. It's nice to have someone wrapped around my little finger ;-)

Most people who know me will have already known all this stuff.

In the beginning...

2004-08-10T15:13:00.000-04:00

So, I'm attempting to get all computer and technologically savvy with my new blog. We'll see whether that actually works. The problem is, I don't think I usually have anything incredibly interesting to say. At the same time, it might be fun to use this as a sort of journal or diary. It feels like I have a lot going on right now. I actually signed my divorce papers, so maybe I won't stay illegally separated or whatever for the next five years. I'm getting an apartment, if the apartment company can manage to not give away my apartment again. And, my boyfriend is moving up here after doing the long distance relationship thing for more than a year.

I've been living back at home for 13 months, so I think it will be really nice to be out on my own again. I think I may go broke doing it, but it wouldn't be any fun otherwise. My sister said that I needed to be an adult now, after living back with mom and dad (should I be insulted??), so I'm attempting to be one. I know that my pending divorce and all makes my family wonder about my sense, or lack thereof, and whether I know what I want to do with my life. Perhaps they have a right to worry; afterall, I guess that's what family is made for. I don't know what I want to do with myself. Half the time I think I want to go back to law school. The other half I get excited because my boss thinks I'm a good social worker. The problem is, doing the right things as a social worker sometimes feels very wrong. If you are a social worker, you probably know what I mean...

So, how do I go about being an adult? The first thing is to get my own place. Doing that in the DC Metro area can cost way more than should be legal. I want a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah, so if I want a one-bedroom apartment, and I don't want my car to get stolen during the night, AND I don't want to get mugged coming into said apartment, I have to pay something like $1100. Does this seem insane to anyone else?

Okay, since I should be working right now, I'm going to end my first posting right here. Yes, it's in the middle of a thought, and I shouldn't stop it so abruptly. However, I'm sure the next few postings will be about how I'm going to attempt to grow up and try to act my age. I'm sure I'll eventually figure it all out.