From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897.
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
"Dear Editor--I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.' Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?"
Virginia O'Hanlon 115 West Ninety-fifth Street
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
I think I feel almost giddy. Today, I did three home visits. I went and visited with a teenager who has not been living in her mother's care for more than two years. She has most recently been in a residential facility in Florida, and due to good behavior, was able to come home for the holidays. I met with her, her sister, and her mom this afternoon, and it felt so wonderful. I think what felt good was that Nikita was so happy to be home with family, and that I was able to advocate for this trip and to facilitate it and actually make it happen. The second visit I did was to a 12-year-old who has been living in a group home for the past month. Although living there isn't the greatest thing in the world, he has been happy there. It was sad, because he did not get the Christmas presents that he was hoping for from CFSA, and he will not be able to see his mother for Christmas (because she is in detox). But, he was happy to see me, just the same, and he will be able to spend time with his sister on Christmas. The last visit I did was to his sister. She is 14, and lives in a foster home. It felt so good to see her for several reasons. One, she is doing so well in this foster home, and even though I had to remove her from her mother a few months ago, she seems happy. Second, there was a long time that she did not like me and was very angry with me, because I removed her from home. However, she now actually seems genuinely happy to see me, and she even gave me a Christmas present. She will also get to spend Christmas with her brother which will be good for her.
I think now that Christmas is just two days away, I feel all happy and less stressed. I can't quite describe why exactly. But it just feels like a happy time of year. I'm trying to put it into words and I'm failing miserably. I feel good as a social worker, because all of my kids are safe and happy, and I was able to make real changes in some of their lives this year. My job is hard and at times, painful. But, to see the happiness in Nikita's face when she got to see her mom this afternoon, and in Shardonna's face when I dropped by unannounced to see her at her foster home, it makes the painfulness of my job worthwhile. I didn't get Shardonna and Jamal presents because I thought if I did that then I should get all of my kids (which number nine now) presents. But, when I saw them today, it felt wrong. I feel like they have been through a whole lot this year, and really all their lives, and that I have become one of the few people in their lives that they really trust. And it felt like, when I saw them tonight, that I should give them some kind of present to show them that they are special to me. I'll drop by on Monday with some presents (although at this time, I have no clue what to get them!). I know that Christmas is about much more than giving and receiving presents, but I think that maybe giving some sort of small gift just to show that you care can go a long way. I should have realized that before today.
Anyways, I don't know where the year has gone. I spent the holidays (well, the day after Christmas through after New Year's) in South Carolina last year. This year, I have Robbie here with me. I have now been in my current job a year. It just feels like the time has gone by so quickly, and I'm afraid that means I'm getting old :) But, all in all, I feel very good about life, and know that this year, though almost gone, I have learned a lot about life and a lot about myself. And, I think that's a good thing.
It's been a long day. It began with my supervisor talking to us about the shooting that occurred at my office over the weekend. This was news to me. Apparently, the director of intake and investigations (I think) has been getting death threats recently, and on Sunday while she was working, someone shot at her from outside her office window. I guess she was not in the office, as nobody was hurt. But, the scary part is that it is believed that the death threats and violence are coming from someone within my agency! Someone that we all work with is who is thought to be responsible for this! That scares the shit out of me! Here I am, feeling pretty safe in my little office building downtown amidst all sorts of federal buildings. I don't feel safe when I do home visits (I carried my pepper spray while walking to and from an apartment tonight) but at least I felt safe in my little cubicle. But instead, now I wonder if someone in my office is going to fall victim to senseless acts of violence. I don't like that feeling. I don't want to have to wonder if I am going to be safe at work. I think about it enough on home visits, walking through my own parking lot in the evening, walking to the Metro at night. I want there to be one place in my little world that I feel completely safe. And, if that is not possible in the DC Metro area, then I need to move.
The next funnest part of my day was a home visit that I did. I really only needed to go do this visit to ensure the apartment was safe enough for a child to live in for two days over the holidays. Short visit, in and out in about 30 minutes. Nope. I was there for two hours. Even though I said several times that I really needed to go, and even though I completely explained how I had to take the agency car back to the office and then ride the Metro all the way out to the end of the line, and even though I put my coat on and walked over to the door...it still took me two hours to get out of there. This is after walking three blocks down a street in NE DC to get to and from my car. On the way back to my car around 7:30 this evening, there were two cops there...one pulling into a parking lot with his lights on, and another cop conveniently parked in the middle of the sidewalk. The first cop started running code right when he passed me, and then pulled into a parking lot right next to me. I was sure he was going to ask me what I was doing walking down the street at night (little white girl...in an all not-white neighborhood). But, apparently he was going to arrest someone else. So I kept walking, walked by the cop who was parked on the sidewalk (he just nodded his head at me and kept going), walked around his cruiser, and made it to my car unscathed. But, I was on the ready just in case someone wanted to get by those two cops and get to me. I had my pepper spray in one hand, and my keys in the other. Are we getting the idea that SAFETY IS AN ISSUE????
Finally, to top the evening off, Robbie found out that his schedule for Christmas Eve and Christmas changed. I won't really get to spend any time with him at all on Christmas. Originally, he would be starting work at 3, which sucks, but I get the morning with him. Now, he can either start at 10 and work until 8, or start at noon and work until 10. Both of them mean that I can't really spend time with him Christmas morning, and there is no way that he will be able to have dinner with my family either. Furthermore, he is working until 2 am on Christmas Eve (I guess that's really Christmas morning) so he is going to be really tired after his Christmas shift and I won't get to spend time with him that night either. I think it sucks. He's angry. And there isn't shit that can be done about it. So, since I can't fix it and neither can he, and me getting pissed at him isn't going to make the situation any better, I figure I'll rant on here for a minute.
Like I said, it's been a really long day. I'm too tired to rant anymore tonight.
Again, I feel like I have been so busy, and have not taken time to write on this blog. So, let me try to correct this, at least in a short post.
Last weekend we went to Butler's Orchard and cut down our Christmas tree. It was fun; I have never actually cut down my tree before. Then, we went to Target, Walmart, Lowe's, and Target again, trying to find decorations, a tree skirt, etc. I also got Christmas cards, because the plan was to get them all sent before the middle of December. So, last Saturday night, we played Christmas music and decorated the tree (See tree below). It was a lot of fun.
So far, I have written almost all of my cards. I have a few that I wrote tonight that need to go into the mail, but I'm mostly done with that task. You can see in the foreground of this picture a ball of yarn. About a month ago, Becca was teaching me to crochet. I keep getting frustrated with it, so I haven't gotten very far with it. But, I'm trying to crochet a scarf, or something simple to begin with. Maybe I'll actually finish it one day.
Here is another picture of the tree. I think the picture looks a bit crooked, but it shows all of the presents under the tree! (Actually, I think most of those gifts are for Robbie, not me. But that's okay.)
