Almost Christmas

I think I feel almost giddy. Today, I did three home visits. I went and visited with a teenager who has not been living in her mother's care for more than two years. She has most recently been in a residential facility in Florida, and due to good behavior, was able to come home for the holidays. I met with her, her sister, and her mom this afternoon, and it felt so wonderful. I think what felt good was that Nikita was so happy to be home with family, and that I was able to advocate for this trip and to facilitate it and actually make it happen. The second visit I did was to a 12-year-old who has been living in a group home for the past month. Although living there isn't the greatest thing in the world, he has been happy there. It was sad, because he did not get the Christmas presents that he was hoping for from CFSA, and he will not be able to see his mother for Christmas (because she is in detox). But, he was happy to see me, just the same, and he will be able to spend time with his sister on Christmas. The last visit I did was to his sister. She is 14, and lives in a foster home. It felt so good to see her for several reasons. One, she is doing so well in this foster home, and even though I had to remove her from her mother a few months ago, she seems happy. Second, there was a long time that she did not like me and was very angry with me, because I removed her from home. However, she now actually seems genuinely happy to see me, and she even gave me a Christmas present. She will also get to spend Christmas with her brother which will be good for her.

I think now that Christmas is just two days away, I feel all happy and less stressed. I can't quite describe why exactly. But it just feels like a happy time of year. I'm trying to put it into words and I'm failing miserably. I feel good as a social worker, because all of my kids are safe and happy, and I was able to make real changes in some of their lives this year. My job is hard and at times, painful. But, to see the happiness in Nikita's face when she got to see her mom this afternoon, and in Shardonna's face when I dropped by unannounced to see her at her foster home, it makes the painfulness of my job worthwhile. I didn't get Shardonna and Jamal presents because I thought if I did that then I should get all of my kids (which number nine now) presents. But, when I saw them today, it felt wrong. I feel like they have been through a whole lot this year, and really all their lives, and that I have become one of the few people in their lives that they really trust. And it felt like, when I saw them tonight, that I should give them some kind of present to show them that they are special to me. I'll drop by on Monday with some presents (although at this time, I have no clue what to get them!). I know that Christmas is about much more than giving and receiving presents, but I think that maybe giving some sort of small gift just to show that you care can go a long way. I should have realized that before today.

Anyways, I don't know where the year has gone. I spent the holidays (well, the day after Christmas through after New Year's) in South Carolina last year. This year, I have Robbie here with me. I have now been in my current job a year. It just feels like the time has gone by so quickly, and I'm afraid that means I'm getting old :) But, all in all, I feel very good about life, and know that this year, though almost gone, I have learned a lot about life and a lot about myself. And, I think that's a good thing.